by Cathy Johnston, UK
A testimonial on the Conscious Cleansing Process introduced by Mohanji during the Weekly Talks,
My journey with Mohanji began at the end of 2019. I dived right in, immersing myself in his world and embracing numerous practices that have supported my self-growth and resilience, helping me confront longstanding inner struggles.
Over the last three years, I’ve had an increasingly disturbing issue inside my lower abdomen, legs and soles of feet whereby there’s a constant swooshing and swirling of energy – almost like being aboard a boat, bobbing around on the sea. In bed, at night, when all is quiet, this momentum gathers pace, and sometimes I wonder if the bed is moving with my inner turbulence. I wake up throughout the night with terrible nightmares of shipwrecks and various dramas all revolving around turbulent seas.
Even while sitting during the day, I feel the motion – a constant shadow that, though less troublesome during daytime, persists 24/7 and severely disrupts my nighttime rest.
Mai-Tri, calming supplements, breathwork, yoga, GP; nothing helped, and it completely plagued my life.
Just before meeting Mohanji, my mum began showing signs of dementia. We cared for her at home for two years – my sister, stepdad, Chris, and me. Her mobility declined quickly, requiring increasing support. Mum was feisty and stubborn with a strong sense of self. Nurses who regularly visited faced her defiance and resistance. After repeated infections, we had little choice but to find Mum a local nursing home. Collectively, we felt utterly dreadful, almost like Mum’s jailors, incredulous as we numbly viewed a swanky establishment, corporate and cold, with salespeople at the helm. Bereft and wracked with guilt, we trudged off to the second home – in stark contrast, a homely, warm, Indian-staffed environment – immediately, I sensed Mohanji’s guidance. This was nearly four years ago.
Mum had a visitor every single day, with me visiting twice weekly – more than I had ever seen her beforehand. Gradually, over time, these visits took their toll, and I began to dread them, dreading the journey, the visit itself and the journey home. I felt a heaviness within my soul that I couldn’t touch or comprehend. I lost my spark, and life became increasingly difficult. I let my practices drop, putting self-care on the back burner as I trudged through each dreadful day wracked with dreadful feelings of resentment.
Guilt plagued me. I felt I had betrayed Mum, praying to Mohanji’s photograph above her hospital bed to release her from her empty existence. Like my sister and stepdad, I was exhausted and burdened with immense grief, desperately wanting to escape the overwhelming situation. Away from home, I could breathe. With the ACT Foundation, I helped others in war-torn or devastated areas, pretending my own life was normal.
During this time, the inner wheels of motion began to turn. At first, the gentle sensation in my abdomen felt strange but not disturbing. Eventually, the feeling spread to my legs and feet, intensifying if I overexerted myself and disturbing my nights with nightmares of shipwreck. The swirling sensation gradually began to dominate my life.
At last, two days after my birthday in April 2025, Mum died peacefully at home. I was away with the Mohanji family in Aberdeen, of course I was! Divine intervention all over again. To say I was relieved sounds cruel, but I could not deny that overwhelming relief that Mum was at last at peace, out of that horror show of an existence, kept alive by big pharma, ignorance and greed. Mohanji guided her hand as she passed. I was literally elated for about six weeks.
The swirling hadn’t abated; if anything, it had become stronger. We went away for a month, hoping that I would be able to get over it, but I still couldn’t stop running – it was part of my psyche after 5 years of terror. Once I returned home, I completely crashed – my body had given up the ghost. I hit rock bottom; the ship had sunk.
Fast forward to the new process that Mohanji introduced during the Weekly talk on 25th January, the ‘Conscious Cleansing Process’, that Subhasree had moulded into an online presentation, and conducted a live zoom session on the 30th January. At the beginning of the process, I drifted in and out of slumber, wondering if this session was going to help me at all. I was fully engaged and interested, but hadn’t really ‘felt’ anything until I heard the words ’60 years to 65 ‘being uttered. Firstly, I felt a slight tickle in my throat, then, very suddenly, it felt totally blocked – before much longer,
I had the most profound, unexpected experience of my life to date. Like an exorcism, a tsunami of guilt-edged grief howled from the inner core of my being. For an hour, I was contorted with the most unimaginable bellowing, animalistic moans and groans that, aside from childbirth, had never passed my lips. I was throwing shapes like those seen in movies about lunatic asylums. I was aware and witnessing everything with macabre fascination as the monster was unleashed.
For about an hour afterwards, I was completely numb, dumb and astonished. Who knew that THAT was inside of me? How had that been stored? God’s name was uttered a lot!
The next day I noticed that the swirling was much milder, and that night!! The swirling had completely disappeared from my legs and feet, only visible with a mild swoosh in my lower abdomen.
I woke with a spring in my step with a renewed vigour for life – I wanted to cook, clean and create some delicious food – I had my life force back – Mohanji had helped snip the tight web that had held in that veritable mountain of guilt-laced grief – roll on the next episode – no expectations – of course!
Eternal gratitude for Mohanji’s call and for Subhasree’s guidance, I am now overwhelmed with joy!
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 5th February 2026
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