By Ranjana Balagopalan, India
It’s going to be about two months after the completion of Empowered 5. I’ve tried to write this testimonial several times since then, but it has been difficult because I’m yet to fully understand my experience.
To put it in a nutshell, in that immensely powerful space that Mohanji had created for us, I was able to experience only the present moment for all of those five days and was unable to think of anything in the past or the future. It wasn’t that there were no thoughts or that I had slipped into deep meditation and lost track of time. During those hours I’d spent in the hall, I’d tried my best to do the breathing exercise as many times as I could, but my mind had wandered now and then.
However, the thoughts were connected solely to Mohanji or the occasional chill in the hall in which the programme was being held, or any aches/pains I was experiencing at that particular moment. There were no reflections about the past or future or anything that was not related to the programme.
The only thoughts I occasionally had about the outside world were connected to my elderly parents, who were alone back in India for those few days. But then, there was a detachment, and the thought never escalated into worry because of a strong faith that Mohanji was taking care of them in my absence.
Overall, there was an intense quietness inside me during the programme, and even the casual thoughts that popped up occasionally met a quick demise at the hands of the energy in that space. There were no emotions as well. When Mohanji asked us to release old/childhood traumas and negative patterns, I couldn’t think of/recollect anything related to those things, even though I actually have a rather impressive collection of both. It felt as though I was trying to recollect what I had heard long ago about someone else’s life.
There were no thoughts or emotions about the future as well, not even of the next day or the next hour. My past and future appeared to have become nearly blank slates, and the only moment I could access was ‘Now’. I’d been unhooked from the outside world, and placed in an invisible bubble, firmly separated from my memories, hopes, doubts, and anxieties.
In fact, until I began listening to the participants on the evening of the last day of the programme, I hadn’t thought at all about what I had experienced. And even after that, it took me some time to get some sort of a handle on it. And it might take me longer to truly understand and assimilate it.
I now feel, during Empowered 5, an energy cocoon had been created around each participant, be it in person or online. And the energy was attuned to our unique constitutions and needs and helped all of us in ways that cannot be deciphered by the mind.
I would also like to share some other experiences that I had during those five days.
On the first day, shortly after we had settled in the hall, I started to feel extremely sleepy and fell into a light doze, during which I kept seeing Mohanji moving through the hall. I woke up with a start after some minutes and began to do the breathing exercise that Mohanji had given. Someone gave a firm pat on the crown of my head, and then I felt them walk past the back of my chair. Energy zipped through me. I instantly felt more alert and sat up straighter. I could focus on the breathing exercise much better after that.
My first thought was that it was Mohanji. But then doubt crept in. In the evening, when I got up to leave the hall, I saw that there was very little space behind my chair. It would have been hard for someone to stand up comfortably in that space, let alone walk through it. And I checked with a few people later to confirm that the volunteers had not been walking around to thump the heads of unsuspecting folk…
The second experience was that of a rudraksha mala. I purchased a rudraksha mala on the second day, and the volunteers helped me get it blessed by Mohanji. On the first day, after the powerful group Mai-Tri by Devi Mohan, I developed excruciating pain in my shoulders and neck, with the pain radiating to my arms. The pain subsided by evening, but the next day, there was one more group Mai-Tri that was even more intense and powerful, and the pain flared up again, and this time too, it subsided by evening.
On the third day, after the cleansing exercises, I started to get the pain again. I felt I couldn’t sit for one more day with that excruciating pain. But I was reluctant to seek Mai-Tri, as I felt I needed to experience the pain as it was. I impulsively reached into my bag and took out the rudraksha mala that had been blessed by Mohanji while telling him in my mind that he needed to help me with the pain. The moment I wore the mala, the pain vanished, leaving only stiffness in my shoulders. It was not a gradual reduction. The pain had disappeared like a switch had been turned off. It was unbelievable.
After my return to India, the inner silence reduced gradually, I regained access to my impressive collection of negative habits/patterns, and the mind reopened its drama club. But there continues to be a small space inside me that is silent, calm and stable. Also, there is much more awareness about my thoughts and feelings, and it has become easier to impersonally witness internal and external drama or at least view situations objectively after a short while. And I’m also able to regard myself with more kindness and understanding than before.
There have been some other small changes too. I stopped having coffee some months ago but had not been able to give up tea. However, after returning home from Serbia in October, I started to dislike the taste of tea, and after throwing away most of it for about four or five days, I decided to give it up completely. I had a headache for a couple of days, which went away by itself on both days. I also experienced intense nausea on the second day, but that, too, subsided by itself. And I haven’t had tea or coffee since then.
The Empowered series as a whole has been immensely transformative for me in more ways than I can describe. As in the case of many seekers, the Empowered series came into my life when I really needed it, and each Empowered programme so far has caused a marked difference in my inner landscape. Yet, when I signed up to attend Empowered 5 in person in Serbia, I did not have any particular expectations. I only knew that I needed to be there. And what I received was beyond anything I could have hoped for.
When I think about the person I was more than a year ago, I can sense the changes – some notable, some very subtle – that has happened slowly but steadily, all due to the divine grace and compassion of Mohanji.
Before I went to Serbia, I frequently yearned for the opportunity to do the Kailash parikrama with Mohanji under his grace and guidance. It had actually become a chant of sorts in my mind – ‘Kailash with Mohanji’.
But after Empowered 5, there has been a change in that contemplation. It is now ‘Kailash is Mohanji’…
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 19th January 2023
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