By Mimansa Arora, India
On Mohanji’s birthday, I want to dedicate this testimonial in gratitude for whatever he has done for me and all the transformations he has graced my life with. I have gone through these experiences multiple times but never sat down to pen them.
I met Mohanji physically at the end of 2021. However, my journey started in 2020. At the beginning of 2020, I had been through a very turbulent time; much of it was because of my own wrong choices and decisions, putting my faith in people who did not have my best intentions.
I made choices that I never thought I would make. Looking back, I could have handled things better, but it didn’t happen that way. However, my idea of self crumbled – who I thought I was and what I thought I would do. My self-image was destroyed, leading to an absolute lack of self-confidence and trust and no idea what to do. Everything spiralled down even further; I had no idea how to get myself out of the internal state, and the external mess created.
This went on for a while and got way worse. There was guilt, anxiety, self-pity, self-blame, and a lot of pain, the pain I had caused to others and the pain that was caused to me. I had no acceptance of what was happening and would spend all my energy replaying everything in my mind for a better outcome.
I was always connected to Sai Baba; it depended more upon how much I needed him. However, the connection was always there with him – like a friend. Throughout this time, I would pray to him to help me anyway.
This went on for a while, going from darkness to some light and back to darkness. I was aware of some terms related to spirituality, karma, the law of attraction, etc. Around this time, the lockdown happened, and even though it brought loss to many, for me, it was like some fresh air. I could go back home, away from everything and everyone, and make some changes to the state I was in.
I understood that things, situations, and people were being removed from my life to help me, but still, I deeply drowned in all the emotions of the lower frequency. I was dragging myself through days, relying on guided meditations to sleep at night. My family could sense that something was not right with me, but I was too reserved to share anything. The thought of affecting them added more to the pain and guilt.
My acceptance was too low, and soon, I hit rock bottom. Everything piled up and led to self-hatred; I hated everything about myself, and when my parents would take care of me, I felt unhappy with that too. All I knew was that I needed help and couldn’t continue like this. The idea that I might have to experience more pain in life, just like everyone, scared me deeply.
I could not accept things getting added to the weight that I already had, and the idea that I might have lifetimes more to live was too dreadful. I started looking at ways not to accumulate karma, burn karma, and get out of karma, but I realized that it is not as easy as googling it and finding a solution. Throughout this time, I would share everything with Baba. He made his presence stronger and would send help in all ways, but I would still fall back after some time.
I started watching YouTube videos about Baba and stumbled upon one of the channels dedicated to people sharing their experiences about him. On that channel, I saw videos of Mohanji speaking about Baba. At this point, I was not looking for a Guru, nor did I think I needed a Guru. I simply liked Mohanji’s videos; he spoke simple words with clarity. I watched more videos of him, and one of his videos really touched me and brought about a change.
He spoke about how, no matter what, one should never entertain negative emotions like guilt, hate, and anxiety. Until this point, I believed that one is not truly apologetic if one doesn’t feel guilty and take responsibility for everything happening around them. Once I started accepting his teachings and chose to give up on such emotions, it felt like I could finally breathe. Suddenly I had hope, and slowly with time, the weight of everything became lighter.
Sometime later, someone recommended the book, “Autobiography of a Yogi”, although that person had not read it. That book changed my life; the possibility a human can have in one lifetime and the possibility of a technique to get done with everything was too fascinating. There is a part in the book where Kriya is referred to as the rocket technique to liberation that stuck with me. And I understood that this was what I needed.
After that, I read books about many Masters and their relationships with their disciples. All the books emanate much love. The books really helped me and made me stable, but I was not content with them; I wanted someone to come and guide me in their physical presence. I prayed intently to Baba to send a Guru my way. To make myself eligible, I tried chanting, yoga, and a few different things. All I wanted was a Kriya Guru, and I firmly believed I would get one. I was unsure how long it would take, but I was ready to wait.
I was watching Mohanji’s videos all this while, but I was unsure if he was a realized Master, more so because of how humbly he shared his knowledge and was exceptionally down to earth. My mind had many doubts; how did he get Kriya if he didn’t have a Guru? He did not appear like a typical Guru, and he did not speak like a typical Guru.
There came the point where I looked everywhere and was bombarded with forms of Kriya applications from different Traditions, but I was too low on confidence to make such a big decision by myself. Since Mohanji’s Kriya form was the first one that came my way, I filled it out and sent it with a prayer to Baba that if this is my path and my Guru, let this form get accepted.
Within a week, the reply came, and the application was selected. It was my absolute faith in Baba with which I accepted and understood that it was Baba’s guidance. After that, my life was never the same; everything fell into place, grace came from all directions, and things started happening in my favour.
I came out of all the negative emotions; they left me totally, so much so that now I can’t even believe that there was a time I lived like that. It seems like a memory of some past life. My relationship with Mohanji took its sweet little time to develop. Many tests happened, too; some I failed to see, some I passed, but he did not leave me through them.
In the past two years, I have had miraculous experiences, which I will share soon.
I will conclude this one with just one more incident. When I was going home during Covid, I remember feeling uncertain and crying about the life that I thought lay ahead of me. Still, when returning to college, I distinctly remember feeling absolute gratitude for the change that had happened in my life, for the love, grace, and absolute care that I had experienced only because of Baba and Mohanji.
The transformation was so apparent that even my mind could not deny it. Mohanji truly gave me a new life; he brought me out of self-hate to so much love that it just expressed itself to others around me. There is no way I could see it coming, and there is no way my gratitude can do justice to the grace showered upon me. There is no way I deserve all this grace.
I end this testimonial with gratitude to Mohanji for everything and to Baba for giving me the greatest gift of a lifetime, the presence of a living Master. Mohanji, please always keep me at your feet.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 2nd March 2023
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