By Sadaf Jafari, Canada
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been on a deeply transformative journey. As Pitru Paksha began, I had the privilege of participating in Mohanji Beyond Dimensions sessions, which gave me the space to reflect on Father’s (Mohanji) grace. His love and presence have always been a guiding force in my life, flowing through every experience. I could feel that something profound was happening inside me during this sacred time, yet there were moments when I felt uneasy. Some days, I was overcome with a sense of heaviness, feeling like nothing was right and that something deep was stirring within me. However, I began to recognize that this energy, this shift, was part of a greater process—something like Mai-Tri, an energy of love and healing, moving through me.
There were times when I felt so drained that I couldn’t even open my eyes. The energy around my third eye was incredibly strong, almost overwhelming. I knew I needed to rest, to surrender to this force that was working through me. During Pitru Paksha, I felt a calling to honor the ancestors, not just for my father but also for my mother, who passed away from cancer five years ago. As a way of connecting to her spirit, I began feeding the birds, which felt like a beautiful way to remember her and honor the connection between life and death, between the physical and the spiritual. Through Mohanji’s grace, I felt my mother’s presence again for the first time since her passing. Her essence, her love, came back to me like a fragrance from my childhood memories, and all the pain I had held onto seemed to dissolve.
Caring for my father has been a central part of my life for the past ten years. After his paralysis, and especially after my mother passed away, the responsibility of looking after him and managing the household fell on me. Of course, my aunt was there helping me along with a few support workers, but much of the responsibility still weighed heavily on me. I learned so much from this journey—how to manage, how to care deeply, how to love unconditionally. I never did these things with any expectation of receiving something in return. Everything I did came from a place of pure love and respect for my father. And through that love, layers of my own emotional patterns began to surface and heal. By Mohanji’s grace, I’ve moved through so many layers, facing challenges I never expected, but each one has brought me closer to understanding myself.
Recently, however, my father’s health began to decline rapidly. He became so ill that he couldn’t eat, and when the doctor examined him, we were told that he had a severe infection. It was a deep infection that could potentially lead to organ failure. There was even a risk that he might not survive. Hearing this while being so far away from him was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced. For the past decade, my father has been like my child. I cared for him deeply, from the bottom of my heart. When I made the decision to leave the country and migrate, the hardest part was knowing I would be leaving him behind. Yet, despite the pain, I knew that this was the path destiny had set for me, and I trusted that everything would unfold as it was meant to.
One day, as I sat on the balcony, overwhelmed with sadness and concern for my father’s situation, I prayed to Mohanji, surrendering everything. I said, “I know you are taking care of everything, whether my father remains in this world or moves on. I trust that whatever happens is for the best.” Although I was deeply sad, I accepted that his fate was beyond my control. Suddenly, a blue jay landed on the balcony rail in front of me, locking its eyes with mine. It sat there for a moment before flying over my head, and in that instant, all my pain lifted. A wave of stillness and peace washed over me, and the heaviness in my heart dissolved completely. The presence of the blue jay felt like a message from the universe, a reassurance that my father was in safe hands.
Later, as I explained this experience to my husband, I realized that the blue jay had been a symbol of transformation. I was no longer burdened by fear or sadness but felt calm, knowing that everything was unfolding perfectly. Around the same time, a friend asked if I needed any Mai-Tri sessions for my father. After reflecting on it, I received an internal message—my father was in a “safe home” and wasn’t open to receiving energy healing. I understood then that Mohanji was taking care of him, even though my father didn’t personally believe in such things. I had already seen how Mohanji’s grace had brought peace to my mother, and now I trusted him to do the same for my father.
As my father’s illness progressed, I found myself speaking to my mind from my soul. I said, “You can bring me all the pain you want, but my father is protected by Mohanji’s grace. You can take away these moments of fear but don’t take away the moments where I can serve him with unconditional love. Let me be the instrument of love that flows through me to him.” At that moment, I understood that no matter what happened, my role was to love him without attachment, without fear, and without the need for any outcome.
One morning, I was sitting on the balcony, talking with my husband about everything that had been happening, and suddenly, out of nowhere, I said, “I will see Mohanji very soon.” Although I had experienced his presence beyond dimensions, I had never met him in person. That night, as I prayed, I found myself gazing at Mohanji’s picture, and I started to have an internal conversation with him. At first, my mind doubted the experience, wondering if it was all just a trick, a mental game. But then, in a moment of grace, the same deep calmness that I had felt earlier in the day with the blue jay washed over me. It was a stillness that soothed every worry and fear I had been holding onto. I realized then that this was not a game—it was all real, all part of Mohanji’s grace.
There were so many moments during this time that I can’t fully remember. It feels as though they were meant to be experienced deeply at the moment but not necessarily remembered later. Some experiences are like that—they touch your soul in ways that don’t need to be recalled in detail because their impact remains with you on a deeper level.
The next morning, I went out onto the balcony again with my cat, who has always been a messenger for me. As we sat there, the wind suddenly picked up, and I watched as the leaves began to swirl and dance in the air. At that moment, I felt the universe speaking to me. My cat and I both noticed a bird on the balcony. As I got closer, I realized it was a gray jay, and to my shock, there was blood underneath it. The bird had no eyes, and I was overwhelmed by fear. I picked it up carefully and felt a deep connection to it. I called my niece and told her what had happened. Together, we decided to bury the bird near the place where I had been feeding the other birds.
As we dug a small grave and laid the bird to rest, I felt a huge release. It was as though I was burying all my fear and pain for my father alongside the bird. At that moment, I realized that I had been holding onto so much anxiety about losing him. But as we buried the bird, all that fear seemed to dissolve. My niece brought a small necklace, and we made a little marker for the bird’s grave. At first, I didn’t understand the full meaning of what had just happened, but later, through Mohanji’s guidance, I realized that it was symbolic. It was a moment of release, of letting go of old patterns and fears. It was a reminder that everything is part of a greater plan, even the most difficult moments.
Losing my father was my greatest fear, especially because I was so far away. But I know, deep in my heart, that everything is happening through Mohanji’s grace. My husband, who was supposed to join me in Canada, wasn’t able to get his visa. Instead, he remains in Iran, taking care of my father. I see now how everything is being orchestrated perfectly. My husband, the most secure and trusted person in my life, is there with my father, helping him through this difficult time. It’s no coincidence that he was the one who introduced me to Mohanji. He has always been my anchor, and through his love and support, I’ve been able to see beyond the surface and understand the deeper purpose of everything happening in my life.
With Mohanji’s grace, I’ve been able to move through this journey with a sense of calm and security. Every time I feel like I’ve reached my limit, I’m shown that there is always more—another level of growth waiting for me beyond anything I could have imagined. I’ve learned that by surrendering to the flow of life and being open to whatever the universe brings, I can experience each moment fully. All the fears and patterns I’ve carried are slowly fading away, leaving behind a stillness and peace that allows me to serve with unconditional love.
And so, I surrender this entire journey, with all its lessons and blessings, to the lotus feet of Mohanji. Words cannot express the love and respect I hold for him. Love you Guruji.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 17th October 2024
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