Mohanji within me

by Meghan Rose, USA

During the evening part of my daily sadhana, I face a tapestry of Shirdi Sai Baba and an image of Mohanji. Around the last week of December, when I would do my sadhana, I would look into the tapestry and get the feeling that Baba is myself, and I am Baba. On December 28th, Baba’s presence was with me the entire time I did the sadhana.

The next night, I was in the car driving back from my dad’s, and I got the similar lovely feeling I had the night prior. I parked my car, closed my eyes and took in the beautiful sensation. I began to feel Mohanji inside of me. I had a vision of him sitting inside my body; he was meditating in this blue ball or aura. It disappeared quickly.

I tried so hard not to get my mind involved in this experience. My mind began wondering what if my neighbours saw me sitting in my car, but the feeling was too lovely to leave! At one point, I even tried to turn my neck, and it was like my spine wouldn’t let me. I knew I could move but at the same time…. Could I?

I simultaneously felt that I was in Mohanji while Mohanji was in me. I started to get the sensation that I was Mohanji.

I then felt this sensation on my scalp, like something was about to be pulled away. I wondered if my personality was going to go. I felt that it would be like death; my mind/personality would be gone. Not a death in the sense of me leaving the body. I could feel something in my head physically, almost being removed. My mind presented its concern about what would happen if it was not there, and at the same time, I was begging to continue feeling that connection. I didn’t want the feeling of Mohanji inside me to leave.

I then felt from my heart Mohanji say he would never leave me. It wasn’t an auditory experience. In fact, there was only silence. It was something from inside me that I was able to know. I could also feel the sensation of wanting something to be pulled away from the back of my spine, too, like the sensation of taking off a tight t-shirt. I wanted it to be gone! Get it off me! Please. It may not be time yet.

I couldn’t help but not want to move and continue with my experience. Still, I felt I should go upstairs, as if that was the solution preventing my mind from bothering me about the neighbours seeing me sit in my car with my eyes shut. I came into my room and stood before my photo of Mohanji, then closed my eyes. I could see myself in white clothes and Mohanji also in white clothes; he was standing a little behind me, to the right. We were in bright white light!

If you have met me, you know I am very short. I am only 4 feet 9. But at that moment, I felt BIG, taller, and expanded. Even though I am shorter than Mohanji in height, it felt like we are energetically equal. I felt more of myself; it was different again than how things feel in the waking state when I am distracted by something outside of me. The waking state is so heavy and dense. Things go fast. But in this sensation, there was no sense of time. I noticed it was only my mind keeping track of the time because I still needed to do my daily sadhana!

Before, I couldn’t understand how to look inside and see the Master there. After seeing him sit there in my chest, I understand why he says don’t look for him outside. Since this night, things have been changing inside me. Things have been changing for a long time, but after this night, a series of events kept occurring. After I saw him meditating inside me, I started to feel his presence more and more from within.

The following week, January 5th, I started a new part of my sadhana. I had a candle lit as I did mantra japa. I gazed into the flame and laughed, remembering how Mohanji said he did the same when he meditated. I felt I’m following in the footsteps of my Master. I then got the sensation of a hand on my head. I could feel the fingertips along my scalp. The grip became strong. I closed my eyes and knew it was Mohanji. This love pierced my heart, and I cried. Love was growing in my heart; I also began to do the Power of Purity. My heart has been expanding over days and weeks. I feel a sense of peace and stillness inside, and I feel very connected to all from my heart centre.

As some may have noticed, I also became insanely inspired out of the blue. I started to make videos of Mohanji and his quotes. I did not plan this out prior. I just did it spontaneously. I am falling in love with spontaneity. When I began making the posts each day, more internal changes inside me would take place, and other quotes would appear that matched exactly what I was processing the night before. Some synchronicities have been occurring.

When I have a realization from within, not long after that, I would see Mohanji’s quote posted saying the same thing. So I make a post out of it. For example, I felt very empowered to begin speaking about Mohanji. Talking about Mohanji is something I do almost 24/7 with people who talk to me. But this is the first time I have done it with a social media platform. I felt really good to be showcasing it more online.Talking about Mohanji is talking about my own self, life and heart. We can make our Guru’s message and presence available everywhere without expectations. We can do it out of the sheer love that we have.

Around this time, I saw a quote by him saying, “The easiest thing to do for liberating oneself in this world is to spread the message of our loving Guru while spreading the love with our very existence unconditionally. Your personal wealth has nothing to do with it. If you are afraid to talk about your Guru, who gave you himself, you are a hypocrite. Grace will not enter your doorway. Hypocrisy prevents grace.” That is a big confirmation for me that I will keep going.

I made a video out of that quote I mentioned above, and as I was making it, I asked Mohanji to select the music because I couldn’t decide. Somehow it got picked, and I thought to myself how much better it feels when there is a sense of togetherness, Mohanji making the videos along with me or even through me! Again, I saw a quote not long after that where Mohanji mentioned the joy of togetherness and non-doership.

One night this week, I was asking Dattatreya, Mohanji and the Tradition to protect me, cleanse me, and do something with me! The Tradition is my family, and I wish to be part of it, doing something for the Tradition. Hours later, a Mohanji family member saw my posts and asked me to make some for MyDattatreya platform. I agreed! I made the first video for it and started to feel very connected to Datta, from the heart and not the mind. Actually, the feeling of connectedness I get in my heart about Mohanji and Datta is the same. There’s no difference in the feeling in my heart.

A couple of days later, I was walking home and decided to cross the street, meaning I didn’t use the crosswalk to get to my apartment. A couple of moments before that, I thought about how we shouldn’t be scared of any negative forces as we are protected. I didn’t see any cars, so I took a few steps. What I didn’t notice was the fact that to the left, a car was making a turn towards me. But a parked mail truck was on the way, and I couldn’t see the car coming. I thought the road was clear. The car came right towards me; her car was going towards the sidewalk and not straight into the road. I backed away, and the lady even had to turn her wheel quickly not to hit me.

In the past, when such things happen, I would feel a sense of guilt or worry after that. “How could I have been so stupid?” But this time, things were different. I felt an insane amount of peace and stillness inside my heart. I felt that Mohanji had just saved my life. I asked for protection, and I truly got it. I could feel this certainty inside my heart. I was actually so happy to have experienced that. I really feel it inside my heart. I am changing. I can’t describe the feeling and will leave it at this for now. I’m nothing but a child of the Tradition. My life is for them! 

Mohanji, I wish to dedicate this post to your consciousness. And I really thank you for your presence which is turning me towards my true nature. You sparked inspiration inside of me, and I’m grateful for you. I love you so much. You are my life. Spreading the word of God has sparked so much joy and courage inside of me. This sensation that has awoken my heart makes so many other silly things not worth anything. The words of George Harrison from his song, ‘Your Love is Forever’ describes what I mean as well, “I feel it and my heart knows you’re the one guiding light in all, your love shines on, the only lover worth it all, your love is forever.” 

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 26th January 2023

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