We have often heard Mohanji talk about patterns and why we should focus completely on ‘being you’ to counteract the deeply embedded patterns. Well, all said, little did I realize that dependency would lead to expectations!
I was all well with my normal struggles, ups and downs like everyone else, when one fine day, my computer which I had borrowed from someone close refused to start! Now, this was a big thing for me. I had all my files, my personal documents and unfinished work left on this very PC. I tried, tried and tried and took help from people, but it just wouldn’t fire up. My close associate from whom I had managed to borrow the PC flared up and asked me to return it immediately. I did so, apologizing and saying that it was not my fault.
I felt very low as I had just recovered from Covid, and now this computer agony added to it. I kept chanting Mohanji’s name during this whole period, and suddenly it occurred to me that I could repair my old computer and get going. I rushed to a nearby shop and got it fixed. All the while, I was chanting Mohanji’s name. I was so disappointed that I even started questioning myself; I was chanting so much. Why did that computer crash? Now I have to redo everything. Even after I prayed so much, Mohanji did this to me. A wonderful way of thinking, isn’t it? I lost all my patience and peace of mind. I got my computer fixed and returned home.
I was too tired to even think of anything when suddenly I started receiving WhatsApp messages on my phone congratulating me on my performance at work. I was overjoyed and, in an instant, back to normal and felt Mohanji was doing all this to keep my spirits high when otherwise I was feeling so low. This was yet another wonderful instance where I felt Mohanji cheering me up. We need to have patience when things don’t go our way and keep surrendering to Mohanji, trusting him completely with his timing.
Another incident was about my own patterns coming back; dependency on people. I had a very bad situation at home where my husband invited guests to spend their summer with us without even asking me. I was feeling very depressed about it as I had planned to visit my parents this summer. I was so angry that even the sight of my husband would flare me up. It was as though I was walked over like a doormat even when I put up with so much. I turned to friends and relatives for help to hear my cries.
All they did was sympathize and say, this is life! I was shocked! I had healed them before, helped them with money, time and energy, and now all they were saying was, too bad this happened. What went wrong now? I was unable to figure it out. I was desperate, and I literally started to curse our incoming guests internally, lost my peace of mind, and could not function! I thought calling my parents would help. A parent never forsakes his child. That’s what they say, but they turned me down due to their fear and lack of awareness. Now, it was hurting me deeply.
Not only my husband but even friends and relatives were also letting me down by not offering to talk on my behalf or understanding my situation. It was then I realized anyone could be selfish. They were looking at this issue from their stand. They don’t want to step up for me no matter what I did for them before. Now, I was becoming even more desperate. What should I do? The pain was sucking me up. I couldn’t sleep, eat or even think straight. I realized I was all alone in this world, and nobody was there to stand up for me. I was not able to chant do aarati or even light a lamp. I was slipping into negativity.
Luckily, I have a few good Mohanji friends I seek advice from, which I did. I am happy that I did because I could get a whole new perspective on my situation. I learnt how people try to drag you down as you shine brighter, and we shouldn’t stop at these things. We should move on and thrive and become role models in society. As I sat down to reflect on what had happened in the past few days, I came across a few of my own insecurities that had opened up.
Why was I leaning toward all these so-called friends and relatives – Because of my patterns. Right from childhood, I had the habit of approaching these very people, and they have lent a listening ear and a sympathetic tone to my problems, and honestly, no solution ever came from it. I have never felt good discussing these issues with them, but I was still leaning on them. What was wrong with me? Why was I doing that repeatedly? Why was I not leaning to God or Mohanji instead of running behind these people?
The answer that came to me was my lack of patience to go through a problem with awareness and my previous patterns. The pattern was built from childhood which I was holding on to. Situations were again popping up. I thought I had let go, but it was a deep-rooted pattern, and I need to develop patience and change my patterns before I can let go of it completely. I agreed to this myself and said, “Yes, it’s a deep-rooted pattern that I kept leaning on others for help. I have Mohanji with me always, and he has proved this to me repeatedly. I should lay my trust completely in him without any expectations.
When I said this affirmatively, my mood completely changed. I became calm and clearer, and my confidence increased. I have more clarity in understanding my situation and how I should deal with it!
Another important thing we need to accept is that once we have reconciled with the problem and accepted the situation, just let the problem go once and for all! Don’t bring it back again at a different time and different place or share it with different people. Now, coming back to the original problem, yes, although my husband invited guests without my consent, I will best use the situation to spread love and peace. There is no use cribbing about it, as the past cannot be changed, but I can make the best of every situation given to me and use this time to live Mohanji’s teachings practically in life.
I am all set and ready for my guests, and I feel much better now. I have decided to write this testimonial as an offering to his presence on this planet and showing us the right way to lead a peaceful life!
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||
Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 2nd June 2022
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