Lessons living with Mohanji – Day 11

Day 11 Lesson – Next to the fire

by Christopher Greenwood

I wanted to share some of my personal experiences living with Mohanji, or more appropriately, living next to the fire! I have to admit that it is not easy at times, and that is because patterns and comfort zones are being continuously broken. It is uncomfortable, and the pace and variety of activity mean plenty of situations where these surface. 

Mohanji isn’t concerned with emotions or feelings either, which means whilst he is here to guide, it’s my journey to work through. His interest is in transformation, and when you get closer to the fire, you either transform or get burnt. Transformation is your evolution, and being burnt is the comfort zones pulling you back. There is no middle ground.

There hasn’t been much time for me to reflect on my experiences while they were happening, but I hope that this message gives insight and feelings of what it’s like being next to the fire – Mohanji. 

I feel this is the same for all people working closely with Mohanji and within the Foundation. We are day by day, given the opportunity to break our patterns and free ourselves from the binding of our comfort zones.

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Over the past few days, I’ve shared some general lessons that I’ve learned from Mohanji – some stories and some more information about the Foundation and the platform’s activities. And today, I wanted to talk about a personal experience – living with Mohanji. It’s been probably eight months now. And it’s related to something which Mohanji said the other day, I heard him share it, and I’d heard it before. But it prompted my mind to think about sharing this – and it’s that living with a Master is incredibly difficult. 

When you’re looking at Mohanji from afar or a Master from afar, it is fine because there’s a safe distance. But as soon as you come close, that’s when the heat really starts to happen. That’s when it really starts to turn on. And so what happens in that situation as people get closer and closer and closer to the fire? There are only two options. One is to use that for transformation, which means you have to break through patterns to break through comfort zones. Or the second one is that you get burned, which generally means running away. There’s no middle ground, especially within this path. And as he says as well – this is the path of no-nonsense. And he’s purely interested in transformation: an individual’s transformation, their spiritual growth, their evolution, however, you’d like to call it. So how they feel, how they are that day, their emotions, all these types of things are of no interest really. And I understood this quite early on when I was finding it quite hard. I now understand (from reading the books actually, I read this, and now I’ve experienced it firsthand) that the Guru or the Master knows what you need to move through whatever patterns that you have. So we are a walking, talking bundle of patterns, inclinations – everything which we carry. We’re basically an expression of our karmic baggage, or ‘garbage’, as he said the other day. We’re just walking and talking all the time. 

So they (the Masters) can see this, and they know what activity is good for you, to move you through it. Basically, to move from a state of tamas, inertia, laziness, procrastination, where these habits are binding and ruling and controlling in the comfort zones being served all the time, day in, day out. It requires selfless activity, karma yoga activity so that the weight is reduced. 

So he (Mohanji) described it this way: at the moment when you first arrived, it was as if you were on a bed and you had a big magnet on your back – you couldn’t even get up, you couldn’t even lift yourself up. So through the work that he has provided, he can at least sit up from the bed, which is a big, big effort. And so what that means is constant activity, new activity, changing activity. You start one task and then are quite quickly diverted to another. There’s another session, someone else to speak to, another meeting to arrange, another task to complete, another board to join, constantly, constantly, constantly. And there’s really no way that it’s possible to completely keep up. And that activity drives momentum. 

So quite quickly, I reached a point where I just couldn’t cope. I was becoming, ‘this is too much.’ I would be eating a lot, probably emotionally eating, which made me more tired, lazier. And one morning, we sat down, we spoke, and it was quiet. He was attending to messages. And quite out of the blue, when I thought we’re going to talk about something else, he said, “You know what is amazing – you’re here, in my presence, you’ve got activities, and you’re becoming even more tamasic. Absolutely amazing!” I was completely shocked. And the conversation followed, “If you’d like to go back to the UK, you’re more than welcome. Remember that you’re not bound here. I want you to remain free. And if it ever gets too much, I’d much rather you just say, admit it to yourself and leave everything in good order so that nothing is left untidy, because that would be really bad. So yeah, you’re free to go. But remember where you’re going back to – you’re going back to your patterns, to your comfort zones. And this is the path here of no-nonsense. You have an opportunity to transform, an opportunity to evolve. But that doesn’t mean it’s mandatory. There’s always free will. So you’ll be welcome to leave as well. So, being next to the fire, either transform – or get burned and leave.”

“Never justify Inertia. It is a self-destructive tendency. You are defeating yourself by defending your laziness.”

Mohanji

And this was the general message, and it made quite an impact on me. From that, I realized that work hadn’t been loaded on top of me to make me crumble. And he said that too, “My job isn’t to make you crumble at all. My job is to take you to the highest potential that you can be, it’s to take you to yourself, essentially.” And he’s been giving guidance and clarity on how to achieve that, too. So he doesn’t just give the activity or the task; he shares how it’s to be done. But generally, that will mean moving from where I am now, through a comfort zone, through a barrier, through something that I wasn’t even aware of that’s come up, some feeling, some emotions. So I can progress into that. 

And so, some things that I was personally faced with are public speaking, making videos. All these were gruelling; it felt really awful to have to pull myself out of my general habit or ego, the resistance that was stopping me from doing that – through that to actually do it. When I was in Fireflies Ashram here in India, we had yoga teacher training. Sanja would be able to tell you that it would take me ages and ages to record a video, be really worried and really fearful about what people would think. 

So in the situations that are presented, I’m having to come out of my comfort zone and address fears. Also, really look at myself. Also, at the same time, because that resistance is there, that pattern is there of not being able to overcome it, then the feelings of worthlessness come in, of uselessness. These patterns I have as well, I’m realizing. So, quite quickly and intensely, I’m presented with situations, tasks, activities where I’m able to see in an intense time period all these patterns that are put in front of me that I have. And knowing then it’s putting faith in Mohanji is the test that I’ve been given, that to just do it, not think, and drop the sense of ownership about the feeling that I will have to do this. That’s something else, which is part of the lessons that come. I think Mohanji also says that man minus ego is equal to God. So then there is a surrender element in it as well. 

All of this, day in and day out, is quite an intense, evolving, fast-paced activity. And now, looking back, I can see that. But during the time, it was incredibly uncomfortable. 

And just before I came here, actually, I developed a skin condition as well. So I’ve got a rash coming up all over my skin. When I was speaking, I think it was either with Mohanji or with somebody else here; they were saying that’s probably suppressed emotions over many lives. 

The intensity of being here is that you face in a short period of time all the things which are inside. And they keep coming. So tasks may trigger a situation, people may trigger a situation. And more recently, I found out that there was quite a lot of anger stored inside as well. So, having to navigate through those emotions and patterns which are long hidden is the reality of being close to Mohanji. 

And some people may have felt the intensity when Mohanji has a satsang or when we have a meeting with some of the teams. There’s like a burst of intensity, which generally helps push people through a momentum, like a change. So whilst it’s discomfort, it’s also quite a benefit too because Mohanji matches what he sees in front of him: it’s a mirror. So if he sees that there’s a blockage, if he sees that tamas is creeping in, or inertia in me, his intensity arises. So what might seem like someone is being shouted out or being scolded; actually it’s not. He’s increasing his intensity so that he can remove any blockage. And he does this with a lot of the teams and meetings that I sit on as well.

I can talk more about this later. Though it’s more of a personal experience today, which I’m speaking about, yet it’s still not completely settled. And I don’t think it will be for many months and even years to come. Because it’s still a period of transition, and day in day out, there are very subtle situations that occur, almost like a reflection back of what’s inside. And so I’m slowly becoming more and more aware of those as well. 

So, that’s a little information on what it’s like sitting next to the fire, that is Mohanji.

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 21^st March 2021

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