Pain and suffering – Part 2

Dear friends, this is the continuation of the previous part, “Pain and suffering“, by the closest witnesses of Mohanji’s recent car accident and the learnings behind that.

Milica Miskovic, personal assistant to Mohanji

1. Moral of the story

I will share my experience of that terrible day. I was there in the car when the accident with Mohanji and the group happened. I was sitting in the back seat. The next day, I was with Mohanji in the hospital. It was an unbelievably shaky moment for all of us, a frightening experience.

The accident happened; it was a head-on collision. The cars collided, but our vehicle was slightly turned to one side. That’s why the most impact was on Mohanji.

He was seated at the front adjacent to the driver, his seat leaning slightly backwards in a comfortable position; his body was not erect. He was partially sleeping, in a half-lying position. That meant the head was not in the front. One airbag came in front of him, the other one on the side. His head was saved, and other parts were saved. The hit was completely on the chest. He had tremendous pain in his chest. The doctor later said that usually, if that kind of impact happens on the chest, the heart stops immediately. Instant death happens.

He survived. It was his rebirth.

After the hit, he was holding his hand on his chest and was struggling to breathe. Yet, Mohanji did not display any shock or turbulence. He chokingly asked us, “Are you all okay?” We recognized his voice was choking. He could hardly speak, and was holding his chest. We told him we were okay. He turned to Christopher and told him to take care of the people in the other car. He opened the door and got out of the vehicle. 

Christopher went and offered water to the passengers of the other car. It was an old couple. Mohanji also walked towards the other car and made sure that the old couple was okay. Then he slowly walked towards the walkway on the other side of the road and stood there.

Meanwhile, Paula and I got out of the car and checked if Mohanji was okay. He nodded he was alright, even though he was holding his chest and he was breathing with difficulty. We gave him some water. He still had pain and difficulty breathing for some time. He didn’t talk about it. There was steam coming from the front side of our car. He just told us to take out all the bags from the car and bring them to the walkway. Because of our dizzy brains, we kept the bags just outside of the car on the road, and then Mohanji said, “Bring them to the walkway.” We were also totally dazed by the shock of the accident. We didn’t catch his instructions the first time. We placed the bags on the side of the road where Mohanji was standing.

Meanwhile, Christopher was attending to the people in the other car. The next thing Mohanji told us to do was to take pictures. Christopher and I took pictures of the car from various angles. Meanwhile, Paula and Christopher called the police to come and inspect. Christopher asked Mohanji if he would like to go home. The accident happened only 1km away from the house. Christopher said we could ask Jelena Fassbender to pick up Mohanji and the bags. Mohanji agreed, and Christopher called Jelena, who came in 5 minutes. Mohanji and I left with Jelena to the house. Christopher and Paula waited for the police to come to do the formalities.

The moral here was — it doesn’t matter when or what happens, but you should always maintain your presence of mind. You should be practical and do what it takes without getting emotional, angry or upset about it. And never blame someone in such times and eclipse your practical mind. Mohanji was doing things normally, as if nothing had happened. No time was left for emotions. His instruction was to get moving.

2. Full picture and learning points

For a full picture and a complete understanding of the situation, I will take you through what happened before the accident—a rewind. Mohanji, Devi, Mila and myself – Milica arrived from Dubai to Ljubljana by aeroplane on October 7th. Madhu described that in part 1. Devi and Mila took a car from the airport to Italy. Christopher and Paula received Mohanji and me at the airport. From the airport, the four of us went to meet some visiting friends in Ljubljana. It was around 5:00 – 5:30 pm. We had some food together. It was the only food Mohanji ate until the next evening, after the accident. 

After the accident, when we got home. Mohanji lay down and began resting. He decided not to go to the hospital at night. He wanted to come in the morning so that he didn’t have to sleep in the hospital and wait for the morning check-ups.

Early in the morning, Mohanji, Paula and I went to the emergency. Jelena and Christopher were at home. Christopher was also hit, so he was resting. He had planned to go to the hospital later. The doctors asked what had happened, and Mohanji explained. They asked if he remembered the whole thing clearly to know if his head was hit and if he had lost his memory. If that were the case, it would have meant a head injury. Mohanji fully recounted the whole sequence, so they confirmed the head was okay.

Mohanji was completely calm, talking to the doctors and us as if nothing had happened. That bit of pain that he described was not a bit at all. The doctor explained to us what happened to him and how scary the situation was, that his heart could have stopped. When I asked him if he was in pain, he said, “Of course, there is pain. It is a physical pain. But I choose not to suffer.”

They took his blood and did ECG. Doctors said they found something in the heart and decided they needed to proceed with the investigation. That’s when they took him for an X-ray. At the X-ray, they said there was some problem with the chest even though there were no fractures. 

Doctors came to talk to us, and they first said they had bad news to tell us. They had said his heart condition was critical because his heart was squeezed when the accident happened, and an enzyme secretion was happening continuously. And that anything could happen from now on and that they needed to keep Mohanji under observation.

They took him for a CT scan. When the results came, they said their assessment was correct; he needed to stay in observation. They admitted him to the critical cardiac care unit (CCCU) and kept him under observation until evening.

We came back with clothes and food for him at around 4 pm. Mohanji hadn’t eaten anything for about 20-22 hours. He asked us to talk to the doctors and check if he could leave for home. He preferred not to be in the cardiac care unit. We discussed it with doctors, and they told us that he shouldn’t leave and required Mohanji to be under observation and treatment for almost two weeks. Only if he signs that he is leaving at his own risk can they let him go. Mohanji decided to leave, signing the papers for which he was responsible.

Mohanji appreciated the staff very much. He said the hospital was very good, doctors and nurses were very good. They really took care. His decision to go was because the cardiac care unit was full of pains and cries, so he preferred to rest at home instead. That’s one reason.

Secondly, after Slovenia, there was a trip to Zlatibor, Serbia, already planned. If he had accepted their advice to stay there for two or three weeks, he would have missed the programs already announced, including Empowered 5. This means he put his responsibility before his life. He always does that. He cares for his commitment more than his life.

A few points I took from this experience are:

1 Seriousness of the situation. One doctor stated that Mohanji’s accident was very severe. He said an impact as strong as Mohanji experienced leaves a person dead on the spot. For Mohanji, this is a kind of rebirth.

2 Physical pain but no suffering. When doctors checked the examination results, they told Mohanji that he must be having tremendous pain because nothing was visible on his face. Mohanji was behaving as if nothing had happened at all. When doctors asked him about the severe pain, he confirmed he did. They were confused why it wasn’t visible on his face and asked about it. He said, “Pain is in my body. I choose not to be affected.” He separated himself from the body. Usually, a person in that kind of pain would cry and ask for help, as we were seeing in the critical care ward. He refused to take painkillers too, and his face was still cool. They were surprised. He was talking to them as he generally speaks.

3 Humility. He was completely calm sitting in the emergency room with all the other patients. When he gave his arm to the nurse to take blood, the nurse couldn’t find his vein. They tried the other arm, and they still couldn’t find it. They kept piercing the arms to find the vein to extract blood. I started to feel panic thinking how many times, at many places, they pierced his arms. I looked at his face, and it was completely cool. He was allowing everything to happen—total acceptance. No matter how uncomfortable, every situation can be handled with humility and acceptance. This was his message.

4 No fear. He didn’t say anything when they told him they had bad news. He obviously didn’t feel anything, even though I was deeply concerned. It was almost like, “If I have to go, I’ll go, without any fear or regret,” even though he didn’t utter it verbally. His lack of panic or fear and the constant smile surprised the doctors. They thought he would be upset or worried. I was there witnessing this.

5 Signs of leaving. When doctors told him about the bad news and put him in the critical category, they decided Mohanji shouldn’t walk anymore. Until then, he was walking. During the examination, he was allowed to walk. When they found out the real impact of the accident, they said he was in critical condition and should not walk anymore. In between all this, he was replying to people’s messages. He was discussing many things with many people over WhatsApp. While waiting for the X-ray, he was texting Madhu, which we already described in the previous part of this blog. 

He was finishing everything and texting in a very concluding tone as if he was preparing to leave. It was as if he was in between life and death. He wished a happy birthday to one of our core team members, Barbara, and replied to even the silliest messages, as well as some small domestic emotional complaints from some people or a blessing for surgery or prayer for protection in general. He completed the incomplete so that everything was done as if preparing to exit. Even though he replied to people, he didn’t tell anybody about the accident or his condition, except Madhu. The instructions he gave Madhu were about continuing his mission on Earth.

6 Acceptance. In one moment, he had a small feeling of botheration. He wanted to go to the toilet, but doctors wouldn’t let him go without a wheelchair. I felt he saw this small space between the bed and the toilet as insignificant. He wanted to walk to avoid making a big deal out of it, but they insisted that his condition was critical. That is when I felt he was a little annoyed, but in reality, he had no annoyance. Nothing ever annoys him. 

Whenever he was out of the CCCU, and in between the check-ups, he replied to people’s messages. He had his phone with him all the time, but he wasn’t allowed to use it in CCCU and during examinations. In between, he was replying, respecting and using every bit of time on Earth. After being annoyed for a second about doctors (even though he never articulated it verbally, it just reflected on his face for a brief moment) insisting on using the wheelchair, he accepted the situation. He immediately understood these doctors were just doing their job, and he went by their suggestion.

7 Focus on purpose. We had just come from the hospital to home in the evening. He was sitting on his chair, and the first thing he did was discuss matters of the Center of Benevolence which is very close to his heart. He was discussing it with the UK team members who were visiting Slovenia. He also discussed the next songs with Jelena Fassbender; he was giving instructions. We were all kind of amazed. He was obviously in a lot of pain, having refused painkillers. He had just survived; he was still technically in critical condition. He was supposed to be in the hospital under observation in CCCU. He had signed himself out at his own risk. Even though he was in a lot of pain, nothing got affected at all. Nothing stopped.

8 Responsibility before life. He accepted the trip to Zlatibor even though his pain hadn’t reduced for many days after the accident. His one promise is worth a thousand promises. It was literally dangerous to fly with him to Serbia in his condition. But he smiled, laughed and made it look like nothing.

9 Compassion. Instead of thinking about himself, he took extra care of us too. He made sure people in the other car were safe. Secondly, he empowered us to try to be as stable as possible. I was in shock, sadness, and fear, but next to him, I was empowered to go through all that. He didn’t allow emotions to tear us up because there was still so much to do. He allowed no sympathy or entertained any self-pity.

After the accident, many characteristics of Mohanji changed. I noticed his habits were different, and his eating inclinations changed. He is much quieter, and his answers to people’s questions in satsangs appear shorter than usual. The whole feel of being around Mohanji is different. Quieter and somehow far more intense and powerful. When he eats, it feels like he is eating only to maintain his body. It was the case even before, but it is much more evident now. He was conscious of his expenses and requirements earlier; now, that has also become quite minimal. He has become quite aloof and detached.

Being an eyewitness to all this, I felt like sharing these points. Nobody expected this to happen, but it gave us a deeper understanding of many things in life and how Mohanji handles it. We have plenty of things to read and understand from this. Above all, it was a warning bell, a reminder of gratitude because we don’t know when Mohanji will leave this world.

I believe that we have taken his presence for granted. We have taken him lightly. I travelled with him to many parts of the world and saw how much he works. In hindsight, I feel that his time, efforts, intentions and commitment are all not understood or taken for granted. This is a time to introspect. Mohanji has always talked about our spaces at every location, where he can invest his energy to stabilize the spaces and the people. If he had left on October 7th, which according to the doctors was very likely, as they said it’s a miracle that he had survived, all the times we took him for granted would have become deep regrets in our hearts forever which cannot be compensated with any further action. He may work equally or more non-physically, but it’s still not the same as his feet touching a land dedicated to the mission. It’s not the same.

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 4^th November 2022

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