Lessons living with Mohanji – Days 141 & 142

Christopher Greenwood

Day 141 – Believe in It

Something I have observed in Mohanji is that he commits himself to every activity he does. Whether this is a conversation with somebody, writing a document, meeting a person, or creating a new initiative, such as the fruit tree plantation, he fully commits himself. Besides that, he has a firm and strong belief in his actions. That’s what translates into a strong conviction, and it creates power. I mean, all of the platforms that we see now being so active are a result of that.

Taking that into my own life now, I recognise that it’s really important for any task, any initiative, or anything I’m doing, to believe in it because if I don’t, my activities become half-hearted. Then I’m not fully applying myself and using my fullest potential, which then creates dissatisfaction, tedium, and other disappointments.

One benchmark I use for recognising this is the job I had before joining Mohanji to work with him full-time. I had a relatively successful job; on paper, it was good, it was well-paid, and it was an exciting industry. We were building one of the now leading crypto-currencies in the industry based on blockchain technology; the work was fairly exciting, it was a good team, and I was heading them. Although everything was outwardly good, I just couldn’t believe in the project. I did at one point in time, but soon, I didn’t really see how it was going to be of benefit to people. When I lost that belief in what I was doing, my attitude really shifted, and I noticed a real difference in my approach to the work.

Although I was doing the work, I was doing a good job, and I did what I needed to; inside, I knew that I wasn’t fully applying myself, which really started to eat away at my self-esteem; this made it an easy decision to leave the job and dedicate myself full-time to something I did believe in making a positive difference in people’s lives and adding value to the world.

That lesson of believing in something for it to have power is a good reminder for me always, whether it’s a small task or a larger task or a conversation, or whatever I’m doing. It’s important to believe and invest myself in it. Only then can I see that I’m progressing. Otherwise, procrastination can set in, and not much movement happens.

This belief also makes it much easier to keep going with activities because sometimes, people may like what you’re doing and appreciate it, but at other times, people may not like it, and they disapprove. But having a belief that this is what I need to do, this is the right thing to do, gives it that power of momentum to see it through any challenges and obstacles.

Hope you have a great day ahead, and we will speak soon.

Day 142 – Leaving Space in Relationships

Today, I wanted to share a learning experience which I’ve taken from Mohanji’s example of leaving space in relationships. In this context, a relationship could be any interaction with another, whether it’s a colleague, a friend, a family member, a lover, husband or wife, and leaving good space so that those relationships become strong and lasting.

What I’ve observed and experienced from Mohanji is that he has a very clear vision of where he wants to go, and he’s moving towards it at a swift pace. Yet, he always gives people the full freedom and space to explore the work and how they will do it themselves and to bring their uniqueness into every goal that he sets. He’s there to give directions, clarity and support. Once that’s given, rarely does he interfere, and I’ve experienced this myself. I’ve found that to be incredibly beneficial because when freedom is given, there’s no pressure. I really don’t feel any pressure for any work that I’m doing; in fact, it’s a pleasure.

I also have the opportunity to explore capacities, and this has helped me grow because I’ve learned what works well and what doesn’t work so well; I’ve made some mistakes and had some successes. Like that, it’s not only an opportunity to contribute to the work, but it’s also an opportunity to really explore and understand who I am. I also observe Mohanji’s relationship with Devi. There is complete space and freedom; both of them have their own set of activities, and it’s well respected.  

Feeling what it means to have space, I started bringing this into my own life and my own relationships with friends, family members, and all the people I interact with. I also realised that some complications and uncertainties in relationships were because of this control of space and possessiveness on both sides. It was either myself doing this in a relationship or that feeling of being completely put in a claustrophobic situation by another, with so many expectations placed on me. This meant that there was just no life within the relationship itself. It felt so under the microscope that it was not a nice experience. 

Remembering this, taking forward Mohanji’s lesson, I realised that the root of many causes of that reduction in space was expectations, which, if left unchecked, could lead to possessiveness and control, as well as some insecurities too. It would completely take the beauty out of a relationship.

When I began to leave more space for people and practice this acceptance of others, I noticed that it wasn’t only good for them, but it was also good for me because obviously, fewer expectations mean fewer potential disappointments. More than that, what I’ve really appreciated is that it has shifted my perspective of the other person, and rather than seeing them through the lens of how I’d like them to be, I’m appreciating people much more for who they are and seeing their individuality and their uniqueness.

This is bringing a new richness to my relationships with my family members and my friends. Another interesting, unexpected thing that I’ve observed since I began leaving more space for people is their reaction. I found that, for some people, it actually created an uncomfortable feeling, and I think it’s because maybe they were so habituated to being in stifling situations in which there were so many expectations placed on them that it’s almost as if there’s a pattern and an expectation that somebody will be controlling or will reduce their space in a relationship. When that’s not there, it’s something different, and that can create uneasiness. People may have expected me to be angry or sad or upset for something they maybe hadn’t done. Maybe they hadn’t returned a call, or they couldn’t attend a meeting or something, and for me, that’s fine.

Giving people their space where they can do what they like made me think and wonder how much potential for deeper, lasting connections is lost because of possessiveness and expectations which really reduce people’s space. 

Hope you have a great day ahead.


Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 10th July 2022


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1 thought on “Lessons living with Mohanji – Days 141 & 142”

  1. A well written article. The biggest barrier to understand the truth “Fewer expectations mean less disappointments” is ignorance and lack of awareness about this truth. The challenge is how to make people understand this truth. Let’s say If people understand this truth the frequent rebuttal would be if I don’t have expectations what’s the point of being in a relationship? The best answer to such rebuttals is “Relationship is about sharing and caring not expecting. This would make us a beggar in the relationship with the other person. If there are only beggars then where are the givers? Great insight. Thanks Green Wood for such a lovely article.

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