What Can I Do?

Written by Snezana Jovanovic-Popov

This is a story about a sudden manifestation, about honestly surrendering and asking a precise question. After my third retreat with Mohanji in Sharjah (U.A.E), certain processes were taking place in me every day: insights, awakenings, discoveries and getting to know myself. For some time before the retreat, I’d had the intention of hosting Power of Purity meditations in Doha (Qatar) to enable people who want to find their answers through Mohanji’s meditations. I felt it was my task.

Time was passing by and every day in the moments between my past (which manifested in a torrent of tears) and the future (various questions and human fears), a  kind of inner battle waged within me – Between that me who is actually not me, and the real ME who is the fulfillment of my existence on Earth.

Snezana Jovanovic - Popov in a vegan restaurant with Mohanji
In a vegan restaurant in Novi Sad, after a satsang with Mohanji and my first retreat

I was sitting in my flat in Doha looking at all the pictures and messages announcing that the holiday season and associated celebrations was here. Images of the years passed appeared in my thoughts. I felt my heart beating strongly in my chest. It reminded me that I used to be sad during the New Year holidays when I was a girl. There was an heavy cloud in my chest telling me that there was something I needed to face, something which was holding me stuck in one place, and binding me. There was something which I needed to release, to let go of, so that I could move freely into the New Year. I was sitting by an open window, watching the clear blue sky, on that beautiful Christmas Eve. There was a moment of awareness that I was at the end of my past, and at the beginning of the future. Earlier also I used to stare up into the sky, into that endless blue vastness, and surrender to it.

As the feeling in my chest continued to become stronger, rumbling within me, tears rolled uncontrollably down my face. I didn’t even care to wipe them. From that pain which was tightening within and all the mixed feelings, suddenly from my heart and soul a question arose. While I was wiping away my tears, watching the sky, watching that beautiful blue vastness, I somehow surrendered to it. I surrendered and asked a question from my heart: “My God, tell me what to do? What to do? Silence, silence… silence… After ten minutes I received a message. “Hello Snezana. I am coming to Doha tonight. Could we organise a Power of Purity meditation tomorrow?” It was Jay from Dubai. Suddenly I realised that I had just got an answer to my question. I felt happy because we were going to hold the first organised meditation in Doha. I was exhilarated with the realisation that our communication with higher consciousness is easy and available all the time. With my master Mohanji and with everyone.
The next day we performed the meditation. In all, there were five of us. During the meditation, some intense and very strong reactions took place within me, including an intolerable pain in my chest, as if a hundred knives had been stabbed into my chest. For one hour after the meditation, I felt pain, discomfort and heaviness. Then the release happened. With a smile, I saw Jay and Binoj off, and feeling like a newborn baby, grateful that I had gone through this experience, I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, it was only then that I felt the benefits of the Power of Purity meditation and the blessing delivered by Jay. I felt lightness, inner serenity, clarity of mind and joy from all the positivity which was coming into my thoughts. In my chest I felt only mildness, tenderness, peace and purity.


With gratitude for everything and to everyone,
Love to all


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