My Huge Inner Shift

Written by Swami Mohana-Bhaktananda Bharati

Jaya Shri Mohanji!!

       I prostrate to my loving Babaji. Whatever I am today is solely because of his blessings. I prostrate to the tradition that he himself is. I prostrate to the Guru of all gurus, that Adhi Guru, which seamlessly walked into my life as Mohanji. Mohanji has such an unassuming method of operating. He makes you experience great truths, rather than teaching them to you with the hopes of you assimilating them. As I have come to learn experience is far better than simple learning. And all you need is to surrender to the tradition or Guru Tatwa. Mohanji takes care of the rest. His words are not just words, but piercing arrows that tear open the darkest layers of yourself and allow light to flow. This is what really happens when you communicate with Mohanji at any level.

I write this experience so that it can be used as a message to all Bhaktas and act as inspiration. I am just by-the-way in all this. The message is important, and not how the message came.

A while ago I noticed a change in my diet. I only wanted to eat fruit and felt very drained. I now see that this was Babaji preparing me for what was to happen. And this is the first lesson I have learned from this experience. Mohanji is not the physical body. He is truly spirit. He is truly the consciousness, that is with you all the time and that is guiding you all the time. He is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. This is really important to fully understand. Mohanji is the consciousness that pervades the universe. So every piece of food you ate, every drop of water you have consumed was Mohanji nourishing you. Every bed you have slept on, was Mohanji’s arms that have cradled you. We need to learn to respect everything around us and a manifestation of Mohanji.
We need to treat this earth as Mohanji, and stop killing her. The same respect we show to Mohanji’s physical body, we need to show to everything around us. It’s a shift in thinking that is needed. So small actions: teenagers should be taught to make their beds as respect to Mohanji for holding them as they sleep, we should recycle thinking that it is Mohanji’s body that is being transformed into another useful item for this existence, we should pollute less thinking we are ensuring that the Mohanji’s earth body is not being hurt.

One night I went to bed early and fell asleep easily. At around 3am (although this is around the time I wake up to do pujas) I went into a deep sleep. I saw myself walking into a room, and there I saw Mohanji in front of a picture of Shirdi Maharaj. He was chanting some mantras. A voice was heard saying a few things, one of which was, “See your param bhakt is here” (I only understood this later, because it was a confirmation of the authenticity of the experience).
Mohanji stopped midway and turned to me. I saw his face and started crying. I grabbed his feet and couldn’t stop the tears flowing from my eyes. I was so content. All I wanted was to be there. Mohanji wanted to hug me, but I refused to leave his feet. Everything I could ever wanted was at these lotus feet.
Mohanji is more than just a wish fulfilling tree. He is more than an ATM that we can think we can transact with. There is no offering a coconut or jalebi to him for a BMW in exchange. We all need to learn to move beyond asking things. We should love him just because!! For no reason but love itself. Not even because he loves us back. And in any case, what can we ask that he does not already know? If we need it (not want it) he will give it to us. We don’t even have to ask. It is all Babaji’s will. All we should desire is to love Babaji.
I think the tears wet my pillow and I woke up a bit. Also I did not want to leave him, so he had to send me back so that I could continue with the experience.
Suddenly I saw myself behind a huge golden throne, which overlooked a sea of million people all dressed in white. They were all chanting AUM in union. Suddenly I noticed Shri Satya Sai Baba sitting on the throne. I looked at his face, his soft skin, his warm eyes and he smiled at me. I thought to myself that I should take a picture for everyone at the Ashram. So I took my phone and got a selfie. But when I looked at the picture I saw orbs with pictures of Shirdi Sai Maharaj and Babaji in various poses. This was an important lesson to me. Mohanji is the manifestation of every Guru. In him you will find every form. The entire guru Tatwa is in Mohanji. His blessing is the blessing of Swami and Baba. His blessing is that of Agastya and Mahavatar Babaji. Who else do we need? We don’t realise who stands before us. He is not just a guru, or even sadguru. He is not even just a manifestation of the divine. He is everything. He is the entire cosmos. He is you and everyone else.

When I saw these pictures, I prostrated before Swami and said that my faith in you has now grown. He then asked in a sweet voice, what I wanted. He was willing to give me anything I wanted. Anything at all. All I needed to do was ask. I replied saying that all I wanted was to love Mohanji more. I wanted to serve Mohanji. I wanted to be a good instrument that Mohanji could use. I wanted Mohanji to live in my heart. All I wanted was to truly love Mohanji, and love Him in Mohanji.
Swami began to cry, and as these tears of joy flowed down his delicate cheeks, he said yes, I bless you. He then said that he wanted to see me in private.
Suddenly we were in a place I did not recognise. Swami had his hands around me holding me under my arms, and suddenly the earth gave way. It just formed a huge pit, at the bottom of which was a raging sea, the milk ocean. I saw hundreds of people offering prayers to the milk ocean and its essence. We were floating in mid air and I was looking at the ocean from the top. Swami asked me if I was afraid. And I said, “If you are holding me why should I fear?” Suddenly the sea of water became a sea of fire. Again he asked me if I was afraid and I answered him as I did before. And then I felt him tighten his grip and hold me closer. Surrender….surrender is the key. Everything changes when we realise one thing: nothing happens without Mohanji’s will. If it is happening, then it’s Mohanji’s will. And Mohanji will’s only what is best for us. So no matter what is happening in our life, know that it is always for the best. Experience it with awareness and leave it to his will. It is him that is holding you. Not you holding him. It is Mohanji who holds you close, not you holding Mohanji close. It is Swami that supports you, not you supporting Swami.

I then found myself in a white room, and Swami gave me a golden liquid to drink. I drank it and he just smiled at me. He said that people do not realise who Mohanji is. He said I (we) should always be with him. He said I (we) should always serve him. Through him moksha is easily possible for everyone. Through Mohanji’s grace everyone can become one with him.
I then bowed before Swami and touched his feet and told him I love him. He said I have patience and faith and this is the key. He said everyone must learn patience and faith. He then blessed me and told a secret (with so much love in his eyes). He told me who I really am. He told me where I had come from, and how these energies combined to form the existence called Mohana-bhaktananda. Only then I realised Mohanji had also hinted this to me a few times. I felt the energies that Swami spoke about as being me, manifest even more in me. I saw in the experience how my body changed in keeping with these two energies. Because Mohanji said I should tell people this experience, I told a few people more details about this part of the experience. Because of this instruction, I began to internalise this and not just ignore it as I normally would have done.
I woke up from the dream and messaged Mohanji. This was when he told me that this was not just a dream. That everything said was true. In the vision Swami materialised vibuthi for me. A great Bhakta of Swami sent me a message when I woke up, with a picture of vibuthi that Swami materialised at an ashram and said Shirdi Baba had asked him to show me this picture while he was reading Sai Satcharita.

Later this most amazing Bhakta (who goes into a trance and Swami and Baba speak through him), sent a message from Swami to Neha, “Tell my Param Bhakta in Africa that I live in his heart and he lives in Baba’s heart. Tell my Param Bhakta in Africa that I am going to give Him more Shakti to do more Baba’s work. His patience and Faith are his strength….use them wisely and he will merge into me”. This blew me away, because it was the exact words that Swami had spoken in the experience. It was exactly what I had asked him for… to be a better instrument and for him to live in my heart.

It was at this point I also realised something very important. I was not in physical pain!! For those that are very close to me, they know a little of the pain I went through on a daily basis. There was never a time that this body was not in excruciating pain. The pain felt as if there were hot red coals under my skin. I lived on pain killers just to get through the day. But suddenly all the pain was gone. Even till today, 98% of all my pain is gone (just the normal pains everyone has are there). I have not taken a single prescription pain meditation, not one pill!! From living on schedule chronic pain medication, getting pain injections, and trying to get every possible thing to relieve the pain……all that pain is gone!!!
This is my experience that happened on the auspicious day of Pongal. How can I even begin to thank Mohanji. How can I even begin to show Mohanji how much I love him. He is Swami and Swami is him. How can I begin to express my gratitude to him for clarifying to me what I am. A great change has come over me since then. How do I say thank you. All that comes out of this mouth is just one word….”Mohanji”.