By Cathy Johnston, UK

October 2019, a low point in life, inevitably led me to the one possible place in which to unearth the real skills required, to face the cruellest of tsunamis that were gradually creeping forward to engulf my Mum. A pivotal point in the tapestry of my entire existence, the one single jewel in the crown of my story, nowhere else before this place ever really existed, nor, for that matter, mattered at all.

At that lowest of lows, when I’d reached the stage where I could no longer look up, destiny brought me to a meeting with Mohanji at a mountainside retreat in Serbia. This was the day my real life unwittingly began. Little did I know, at that most confusing and perplexing of times, how much I would grow to depend upon wholly and deeply love this complete and utter stranger.

However painful the experiences before my meeting with Mohanji, nothing compared to the inevitability of saying the longest of goodbyes to Mum. I always knew this would be the hardest wrench in my life, and yet! Miraculously (others have observed), I have this newfound inner strength shining forth as I feel this power emanate, this cope-ability with the full security of safely being ‘held’.

I am never alone and feel him whenever I wish. He is my forever constant, my always ‘there’. He’s in my every teardrop; he soothes my weary brow. When my chest heaves and sighs, he’s in it. Holding my hand that’s holding my Mum’s, guiding the right words of comfort when confusion engulfs her, tormented in grief.

Words fail to do justice to the inexplicable and profound showers of grace delivered by Mohanji and the palpable guidance I’ve genuinely felt and feel as I write. Unconditional love can only be experienced to comprehend fully; that the love we’ve believed to receive whilst living this mortal life doesn’t come close to the ocean-deep love of a benevolent God.

Mohanji’s simple yet profound practices have brought steadiness to the uncertain waves of the dramas of life. Chanting his name during moments of broken sleep, I can lull myself back to a dreamy slumber, enabling my spirit to face the surprises of the new dawn ahead.

Because of Mohanji, I’ve learned to appreciate these precious moments, alone with Mum, as I hold her beautiful, artistic little hands in mine, hands that brought joy through her paintings and strokes of her erudite pen.

As I stroke her gorgeous, silken, grey hair, realising that this, this moment, this here and now, is a real chance to ‘be’ love, to ‘show’ love and to fully ‘know’ love with the very best friend I’ve been so lucky to have, on this journey called life.

How privileged I am to be able to help Mum in her greatest time of need. How lucky is she, with Mohanji in the wings, guiding her away from the inevitable pains of her drawn-out end. As harrowing and distressing as these moments could seem, I have him to come home to; to nourish my being.


Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 8th September 2022


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Mohanji Testimonials team

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