Written by Mimi (Macedonia)
“Be natural, be conscious about everything” – These Mohanji’s words are whispering in my ears all the time, they are like answers to every question, bringing me back to the center over and over…
Last year, I had attended a Satsang in Skoplje, very spontaneously and without any expectations. If you ask me now, I remember that experience like a dream. I am not sure how I found out about the event, but I remember that a really strong feeling pushed me towards it.
For the first time in my life I had the feeling that I knew nothing, though I had spent years of reading and learning about spirituality.
I was speechless, I felt like all my knowledge was breaking into a thousand pieces and I was sitting in front of him like a child who sees a Teacher for the first time. I was blessed with Shaktipat and went home.
A year later, I found myself at the ‘’Alexander the Great’’ airport with my friend Mohana Hanumatananda (Zoran, before he got his spiritual name) awaiting Mohanji and Devi, impatient and with a smile on our faces, like children expecting their father to come. One year had passed, a year full of personal transformation. I had said goodbye to many concepts, people, rituals… a period in which many masks had fallen. I felt more vulnerable yet at the same time determined that there is only one way to the soul and it begins here and now before His Grace.
In the Presence of a Living Master
I had often read about different experiences and miracles that people experienced in the presence of Mohanji, but for me the biggest miracle and gift was the chance to be in the presence of a Living Master.
For seven days I had the opportunity to be with Mohanji looking after his travel arrangements and stay in Macedonia to ensure it was comfortable and pleasant.
What did I do to deserve it?
I often received questions from people like, ‘’Do we talk?’’, ’’What is Mohanji like when he is not in front of people?’’, “What does he like?’’, ‘’What are his demands?’’ etc.
Mohanji is a simple, humble, quiet man, full of understanding and compassion, dedicated to his mission day and night.
Every day, he would use every available moment to reply to numerous messages he would receive from people without showing any fatigue. Therefore, I kept quiet most of the time until he asked me. For me it meant EVERYTHING that I had the opportunity to be next to him and to help organize the events and create a better atmosphere.
Two days passed and I had a feeling that I was floating between two worlds with a thousand thoughts. Questions such as, “Am I doing everything right?’’, “Is everything good enough?”, “Is he satisfied with the arrangements?” were ringing in my ears all the time…
Actually I wondered if I was fully participating or just following every move he made and taking care of his needs. That evening when we arrived in front of the building where he stayed I asked him if I could hug him, I tried real hard to hide the tears in my eyes. I will never forget that hug because I felt released, every part of me was relaxing and every rule, agenda… everything was gone. He knew how much burden I was carrying in my soul so he gave those few seconds to make me feel a kind of relief and advised me to get good sleep. On the way home I was crying, those were tears of joy…
Next morning, we travelled to an ashram in Stip where the weekend program was arranged with 30 participants. I didn’t have many expectations but sensed that something important was going to happen. Also some dear people from Serbia who wanted to be close to Mohanji for a few more days, joined the group. A different kind of energy filled the space – it was as if a storm was coming…
The Retreat At Stip
During the retreat, a meditation was conducted where Mohanji opened our hearts and souls…
I was crying a lot… people around me were crying a lot…I knew that something big was going to abandon me and free my inner space. Each time I thought I couldn’t do more, I was exposed to a bigger pressure. I felt pain…That was a state of total surrender… Never before had I felt myself so different than before, so deep and so real. I cried out everything that bothered me leaving me utterly empty and silent. At one moment I even forgot my name. Everything that connected me with my previous life didn’t matter. There was neither time nor space…
Nothing I did or said could show how grateful I was. It was wonderful to see myself without ego, identity, false masks. I was in a state of Pure Love. I felt a deep pure love for the Master and for everything that surrounded me.
I was quiet all day; I didn’t have a need for conversation. The only important thing for me was being in his shadow, waiting for an opportunity to be useful.
Back to Skopje
After returning to Skopje we organized wonderful meetings with all who waited to meet Mohanji and were unable to attend the weekend retreat. During the first Satsang, Mohanji talked about the evolutionary process of humankind, and the second Satsang was dedicated to all women, mothers and their role in the process of educating new generations. With admiration and full attention I listened to every word he said, conscious about our connection… He also gave answers to many questions unasked removing all dilemmas and touching every heart present.
Seven miraculous days passed as if in one moment… His influence was everywhere and one thing was sure – nothing was going to be the same again. With tears we waved goodbye at the airport, but also with a promise to ourselves that we would give everything to keep this blessed condition as long as possible.
With infinite love and gratitude,