By Ulla Bernholdt
In a month, I will be attending Mohanji’s Acharya training program in Serbia. This is a milestone for me, and I find it to be a good opportunity to look back on the year that has gone by in Mohanji’s Consciousness. Yes indeed, can you believe that just a year ago I had barely even heard of Mohanji!
I think it is important to keep track of our experiences, for the sake of remembering the grace of the Masters that made the journey possible, if we ever come to doubt how blessed we are.
Like so many others who have met Mohanji in dreams, I am no exception. Before I met him, or consciously connected to Mohanji, I had a dream in which he appeared: We were seated outside in a garden, on a bench. Mohanji sat in the middle, a blond woman and I sat on either side of him. I leaned my head on his shoulder. The atmosphere was very loving and serene.
When I woke up, I was quite shocked. – It was a fact that I, in the dream leaned my head on his shoulder. To me, this suggests an act and a disposition of total surrender. – So, when I awoke, my mind went “Wait a minute, what is going on? I don’t know this man at all. I have never met him. How could I possibly surrender to him? Who is he by the way? What does all this mean?”
There was a difference of approach to Mohanji in my waking state and my dreams. In my dream, I had no problem with doubt or resistance. Mohanji works on subtle levels which are unknown to us.
In another testimony, I have told how Mohanji appeared to my inner eye in a temple high in the Swiss Alps, and how this made me want to go and meet him physically.
I went on the Himalayan retreat in Rishikesh, where I met Mohanji for the first time. Initially, I was quite skeptical towards him and the whole process that he offered. How do you know if a teacher is genuine? He suggests that we find out ourselves instead of listening to the opinions of others.
I had much resistance towards guided meditations, Conscious Walking and Kriya. – No, this path I thought, was not for me!
But then, at a Satsang at the end of the program, I felt a big shift in consciousness. Thoughts disappeared. All of a sudden there were no memories to identify with. What was left was just empty space, awareness and a deep knowing that no matter what life or even death will bring, I will remain the same, nothing can affect me, I am eternal. Looking at Mohanji, there was no difference between us, not even a relationship between two separate beings existed.
I was in a state of silent bliss which lasted a little less than a week. – Mohanji tells us, that if a state is not permanent, it does not belong to us. It was an experience, and like all other experiences, it did not last. But this was a life-changing one, and it leads me to conviction, trust and faith in the path and the Master.
This state of induced samadhi has nothing really to do with me, but everything to do with Mohanji, it shows the stature of our Master, where he is capable of leading you. Now I do not doubt that He is connected to the Source, that He is one with the Source. He is Shiva or Consciousness itself. This is His Divine gift and revelation. It is a priceless gift, given free to everyone. Out of unconditional love and compassion, he gives himself fully.
Just think about it; that moment in time I did not consider to become a follower of Mohanji, on the contrary, I was rather skeptical, but still, this gift was given to me freely, a newcomer and a mere beginner. What an amazing Grace to receive! Again, this tells me about his stature, that there is no limitation to His love. All we need to do is to be open and in a disposition of surrender for the Grace to flow. Where that Grace will lead us, we have no idea.
No need to say that this event has had a major impact on me. Mohanji cleared so much suffering and agony in me. Since I connected with him, a lot of fear and negativity has gone. In fact, before I met Mohanji, I felt so negative, I didn’t care much if I lived or died, it all seemed such a waste of time.
That has certainly changed. Awareness, self-acceptance and a strong sense of purpose have taken over my life. Through this, I was able to do some major life changes and find the courage to end abusive relationships, so that I was able to focus on positivity only. People keep telling me they noticed how much I have changed, and for the better, so it is very obvious to see even from the outside.
This I could never have done myself through any act or self-effort. Throughout the years, I have tried several therapies, healing modalities and spiritual paths, but none of them were able to clear the inherent negativity in me.
I have encountered immense love and support from other devotees in the M Family, who have treated me like their own. For months, I would go and meet Subhashree from London while she was working in Copenhagen. Being a pure instrument of Mohanji, she supported me in a selfless way, mentoring and helping me set up meditations in Denmark. She, her family and other devotees in the UK and India have kindly supported me in all kinds of ways, giving me job opportunities and opening up their homes for me to stay, without knowing me, trusting in me, only by the grace of Mohanji.
These are the blessings that are so obvious to me. I can see and feel their transforming effects every day. But the blessings that we are oblivious to might be even greater. What do we know in the end? Nothing! Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I was able to surrender fully to our Master. I pray to him that I will be able to do that by his amazing Grace.
|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI||
Compiled, Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 26th September 2019
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