Turkey, ACT Foundation disaster relief Feb 2023 – Part 1

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

By Linda Abrol, Netherlands

I am not strong, not so fit and not so courageous

Suddenly I found myself in Adana, Turkey, a two-hour drive from the epicentre of the recent earthquakes, where with a small team and the Serbian ACT Compassion van, we bought necessities in the morning and brought them the same day to families that we picked very selectively in the afflicted areas. They were in dire need of food, toiletries, blankets, stoves, thermal underwear, warm sweaters, socks, etc.

How did I end up here? What happened? Something moved me to sign up for disaster relief during the earthquake in Turkey. Why? I am not brave. I shiver just from the word earthquake, and the slight shaking in Limburg many years ago upset me for a year. During that year, I was disproportionately shocked when I heard a sudden sound, as if the base of my physical safety was gone. 

I’m not strong either due to osteoarthritis and a broken shoulder tendon. So, apart from the light stuff, I can’t help lift and hand out the supplies. I told Selma that the only thing I could offer was to be available and willing. Selma suggested that I do the filming. That would be nice for her because she had her hands full herself. And the footage was desperately needed to raise funds. 

During the layover in Izmir, I met a friendly blonde woman, Sibel. She lived in Adana and had just taken her infant son by plane to a safer city. When I asked her how safe it was in Adana, she told me that the shocks were intense there, too. The buildings collapsed, and 500 people died. Among them was her friend. I started to console her, and she shrugged timidly. I asked how she felt now in Adana. She told me that she and her family no longer feel safe and want to move. I completely understood. I hid the shock I got at that moment. So far, I was under the assumption that our hotel was situated in a safe area. It wasn’t! I jumpstarted my two-step remedy against all fear: step 1, breath in and breath out. Step 2, Repeat step 1!

The first working day

After yesterday’s exhausting trip and my arrival at the Yellow Mansion Hotel in Adana, our ACT 4 Turkey crisis team of four people was complete: Mircea from Serbia, Selma from the UK, Melanie from Canada and me from the Netherlands.

Micea drove the ACT Foundation van with Melanie as a co-driver, and I drove my rental car of the “no idea” brand. I didn’t even bother to look at what brand it was. It wasn’t long before I started calling Selma ‘boss’. She had already gained a lot of experience in Ukraine and knew the ins and outs of the actions to be taken. Be it buying food boxes, finding heaters, toiletries and thermal clothing or finding families in need, etc. Her telephone was her office.

The first thing she did in a new country was find contacts and make friends. She always succeeded. Mustafa and Juzuf, two cousins from Arsuz, were so helpful to drive with us that day and not only acted as interpreters but directed us to the homes and tents of families who needed our help the most, as well. Mircea was great at efficiently loading and unloading the van, and Melanie supported him. Apart from compassionately listening to the victims, hugging them and connecting, I supported Selma as her driver and cameraman, made sure she ate and took care of filming, photography and writing.

Selma edited the material till the early morning hours, hardly sleeping. She posted her powerful and beautiful videos daily, and I shared them immediately with my friends and followers on Social Media. By sending her compositions and my stories to Dutch Social Media, I could contribute a bit to the fundraising. Wherever I could be useful made me extremely happy.

Shiva’s blessings on Mahashivaratri

During Mahashivaratri, I thought: for me, Mohanji is Shiva. For me, this is another Kailash Yatra. When we went for dinner at Mustafa and Juzuf’s family home after a long day of work – their house still standing but every wall showing cracks – Michea parked the van in front of the house. Unconsciously watching his manoeuvre, I noticed an egg-shaped plaster dome just behind the van. It resembled an enormous Shivalingam. In front of it was Mohanji’s face, pictured on the back of the van. Behind it, a snowy mountain landscape basking in the final evening light.

At this point, I was one hundred per cent sure that this was another Kailash Yatra. On Mahashivaratri eve! A greater blessing didn’t seem possible. Mohanji was with us. That much was clear. We enjoyed the hospitality of this dear family, and I marvelled at how cheerful, open and welcoming people can still be when the world around them has literally collapsed. 

The second working day: an enervating day 

In the middle of the night, I started doubting. Mohanji, is it smart if I join you today? It will be such a long day. I am not so fit. I am still recovering from my illness in India which was only a little more than two weeks ago. It might not be effective for the team. I want to add value. I certainly don’t want to be a nuisance. Mohanji, what do you want me to do? Fortunately, my inner Mohanji replied quickly. He said, ‘Linda, I am simply protecting you all the time.’

He doesn’t want me to do anything! I have to make my own choices. We don’t do anything for him. He is complete in himself. He is simply giving us opportunities to develop ourselves. Wherever I choose to do work from my heart, he will protect me. The emphasis here was on the words’ all the time. It made me really feel protected. He knew we were not safe, but he made sure we escaped all serious trouble. I will tell you about that later. For now, I knew I could simply start off with the team and surrender to the protection of Mohanji.

In the car, on the way to our destination, Mustafa, the Turkish volunteer of our team, tells us that last night after we had dinner with his family, another slight earthquake woke him up in the night. It was only 3 on the Richter scale. And nothing serious compared to the earthquake two days back in his town, where so many houses collapsed. So he literally did not lie awake for long. We were happy, we were not there.

Deep loss, fear and pain

We were on our way to Antakya. The area hardest hit. Before we went into the city, we visited some families just outside the city centre. What brought me to tears was a father with an adorable six-year-old daughter. She was radiantly cuddling with the new doll she had received from us. She looked at me with her big, innocent eyes. From her father’s gestures, I gathered that they were upstairs when their house collapsed. 

He told me in a few simple words, with deep sadness in his eyes, that her eight-year-old sister had not made it out alive from under the rubble. I expressed my condolences for his great loss. I couldn’t stop tears from rolling down my eyes. We saw some cows in a barn. The owner told Selma that the first thing he did after the earthquake was run to check if his cows were ok. He had found two cows dead under a collapsed wall. The rest of the cows were safe. That also made quite an impression because animals are such innocent and helpless creatures.

A woman showed me that her hand was wounded by falling rubble. I softly took her hand and felt like kissing her wounds as we do with our children. Another woman took us upstairs to her house to show how much of the house was destroyed. I felt shaky, walking up the stairs. Seeing the broken walls, the enormous mess of glass and tomato paste amidst pieces of furniture and damaged walls was surreal, and seeing the devastation in the woman’s eyes made me feel like hugging her, which I did. There was literally nothing which was undamaged. Windows were not needed to see the blue sky outside. One could simply look through the holes and cracks in the wall.

Dozens of people and children were made happy this day with the stoves, drink bottles and toys, blankets, ground insulation material for tents, gloves, socks, leggings, sweaters and the food that we gave them. My ‘job’ of showing compassion, filming, photographing and driving was very fulfilling. I comforted, hugged, filmed, listened or read sign language. 

The dangers along the way didn’t lie either. In the afternoon, in the mountains, our fully loaded car slid backwards down a gravel slope instead of going up. And we almost reversed into a ditch before I managed to change course. The bus got stuck on the same slope and also had to slide back down and find a new route. Moments later, I drove behind the bus and saw it narrowly avoid another deep ditch on the street narrowed by debris. 

A horror city

After dark, we drove through the city centre of Antakya, now a ghost town. Not even a ghost town. This was much worse. This was a city of horror, a city of dust and debris. No building was safe, and nearly all of them were not standing upright. Knowing that hundreds of people were still buried under the rubble was like watching a bad movie. Knowing that the official search had ceased was like a nightmare. The focus was only on clearing the debris. Imagine someone is still alive and waiting to be saved, we thought. Horror scenarios passed through our minds. We saw furniture being removed from tall buildings with huge cranes.

Ambulances, police and firefighters with or without sirens were a normal sight on the roads. Tents were everywhere. The military was in action. Semi-trailers with tiny houses (a kind of container with doors and windows) were now being purchased and used by some instead of tents. Our Mustafa, the Turkish young man who was helping us with his cousin to locate the right families to take our goods to, told us in the car after our long day’s work that he had an App-group with his friends and many of his friends, his nieces included, lived in the worst affected area.

Every so often after the earthquakes, they started getting messages from friends on the same App-group who were under the rubble but still alive. So was his niece. She survived for three days but was not rescued. Neither did most of his friends except one, a boy who was freed from his apartment by his own father. His father counted the floors, and on the right floor, he smashed the wall and freed his son. 

We heard first-hand stories, and that made an impact. We cannot distance ourselves anymore, like with the news on the television, that we shift off from once the food is on the table. After lots of hugs and expressions of thanks by us for the full efforts of the boys, we drove the two-hour trek back to Adana at midnight. How did I keep that up when I can’t drive to Amsterdam in the dark yet? That must have been fuelled by a secret power. I had an inkling which one….

We arrived late but safely back at the hotel but not without the help of providence, that is for sure. Even after seeing so much of the most severe misery, the sense of belonging, love, cooperation and friendship was what lingered.

Donations are welcome via the link below:

https://mifoundation5.payrexx.com/en/pay?tid=97eba27d

(Please select the “Disaster Relief” option)

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 16th March 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team

Lessons living with Mohanji – Days 199 & 200

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

By Christpher Greenwood

Day 199 – Being a human human 

Yesterday, we drove in the car with Mohanji to an ACT initiative in Serbia. He asked a general question, “What do people actually get from talking bad about another person, judging them, making opinions about them, sharing these and discussing them? What is anybody actually gaining when they do that?”

I answered in a way that I thought was best: “Well, this becomes a barrier for people on the way towards liberation,” I’d shared in recent messages that any time there’s a separation, it’s a moving away from unity. But he quickly replied, “You can forget about liberation. This is just simply a fundamental of being a human being, a full, stable, contented human being. What is anyone gaining through this act of talking about people?”

It’s a good point for contemplation and one which initiated this message this morning. So, why do many people make opinions of others? Why do they talk badly about others, judge and criticize them? What is anyone gaining other than the heaviness and regrets? 

We spoke in the car about this too. Mohanji shared that it’s simply playing the drama – when people are involved in this, they act out the play of the mind with its likes and dislikes, swinging from one to another. 

Even if people aren’t directly involved in someone’s life, they also tend to form opinions. People become upset or even angry at others because of who they are or other people’s life choices. Why do we involve ourselves as long as it’s not harming others? It’s the other person’s life to experience. We don’t need to judge, restrict or deny the experience. So, when we put a judgement, opinion, criticism, or control on that, it restricts or denies an experience they probably wanted.  

Before being spiritual, we can be human. We can leave people to live their lives, whether a father, mother, sister, brother, child or co-worker. We can simply leave them alone to experience their chosen life and free them/ourselves from the heavy burden of judgements, opinions and criticisms because this can create expectations, ownership, and the associated pains that come with that.

I have observed Mohanji with people, and he doesn’t look at what they do personally. He doesn’t make opinions or look at their habits or character. He sees people as human beings. That’s something to learn.

To leave people alone. Let them be. So, it was an interesting thought: What does anybody gain when the judgments and criticisms are put onto another and can we leave people to be free and live their lives?

Day 200 – Power of selfless service 

Yesterday (30/05), Mohanji was invited to give a Satsang for the Serbia volunteer team. The core volunteers have selflessly given their time and resources to the platforms. 

It was a powerful and inspiring Satsang. The opening was a good reminder of the power of selfless service, doing something without any expectation in return, and giving what we have for the world. 

Mohanji shared the two main benefits of selfless service. 

1. Purification 

2. Lightness 

Purification 

Through service, we are purifying ourselves. We are purifying the greed, competition and ownership elements – all these get nullified. Less ownership reduces karma, and purity happens as we express something unconditional.

Lightness 

We feel lighter; selfless service is a tangible experience. Life gains much more clarity. There is less fog on the road of our life, more awareness and much less burden due to ego shedding. As we’re giving towards those activities, we can better handle the storms of life. 

He said more than any meditation, the service element brings purification. I’ve shared before that all the platforms established are opportunities for people to express and give their time, their talents in various ways, which automatically reduce karma or exhaust desires.

The selfless action, the purification element, is working without ownership. Because you’re just giving yourself – your resources, your hands, your legs, arms, whichever it is- there’s no attachment to the activity, ideally, which also becomes a purifying activity.

One of the hindrances of selfless service is the greed factor. When people ask, “What’s in it for me?” We have been trained and educated in this transactional way of life. When I give you something, I get something in return. This expectation dilutes selflessness. 

He said that this could become one of the natural hindrances to selfless service, an inherent expectation that because we’ve given our time, sweat, money, or whatever it is, we should get something in return, so always keep that in check.

 

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 12th March 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team

A new life

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

By Mimansa Arora, India

On Mohanji’s birthday, I want to dedicate this testimonial in gratitude for whatever he has done for me and all the transformations he has graced my life with. I have gone through these experiences multiple times but never sat down to pen them.

I met Mohanji physically at the end of 2021. However, my journey started in 2020. At the beginning of 2020, I had been through a very turbulent time; much of it was because of my own wrong choices and decisions, putting my faith in people who did not have my best intentions.

I made choices that I never thought I would make. Looking back, I could have handled things better, but it didn’t happen that way. However, my idea of self crumbled – who I thought I was and what I thought I would do. My self-image was destroyed, leading to an absolute lack of self-confidence and trust and no idea what to do. Everything spiralled down even further; I had no idea how to get myself out of the internal state, and the external mess created. 

This went on for a while and got way worse. There was guilt, anxiety, self-pity, self-blame, and a lot of pain, the pain I had caused to others and the pain that was caused to me. I had no acceptance of what was happening and would spend all my energy replaying everything in my mind for a better outcome.

I was always connected to Sai Baba; it depended more upon how much I needed him. However, the connection was always there with him – like a friend. Throughout this time, I would pray to him to help me anyway.

This went on for a while, going from darkness to some light and back to darkness. I was aware of some terms related to spirituality, karma, the law of attraction, etc. Around this time, the lockdown happened, and even though it brought loss to many, for me, it was like some fresh air. I could go back home, away from everything and everyone, and make some changes to the state I was in.

I understood that things, situations, and people were being removed from my life to help me, but still, I deeply drowned in all the emotions of the lower frequency. I was dragging myself through days, relying on guided meditations to sleep at night. My family could sense that something was not right with me, but I was too reserved to share anything. The thought of affecting them added more to the pain and guilt.

My acceptance was too low, and soon, I hit rock bottom. Everything piled up and led to self-hatred; I hated everything about myself, and when my parents would take care of me, I felt unhappy with that too. All I knew was that I needed help and couldn’t continue like this. The idea that I might have to experience more pain in life, just like everyone, scared me deeply.

I could not accept things getting added to the weight that I already had, and the idea that I might have lifetimes more to live was too dreadful. I started looking at ways not to accumulate karma, burn karma, and get out of karma, but I realized that it is not as easy as googling it and finding a solution. Throughout this time, I would share everything with Baba. He made his presence stronger and would send help in all ways, but I would still fall back after some time.

I started watching YouTube videos about Baba and stumbled upon one of the channels dedicated to people sharing their experiences about him. On that channel, I saw videos of Mohanji speaking about Baba. At this point, I was not looking for a Guru, nor did I think I needed a Guru. I simply liked Mohanji’s videos; he spoke simple words with clarity. I watched more videos of him, and one of his videos really touched me and brought about a change.

He spoke about how, no matter what, one should never entertain negative emotions like guilt, hate, and anxiety. Until this point, I believed that one is not truly apologetic if one doesn’t feel guilty and take responsibility for everything happening around them. Once I started accepting his teachings and chose to give up on such emotions, it felt like I could finally breathe. Suddenly I had hope, and slowly with time, the weight of everything became lighter. 

Sometime later, someone recommended the book, “Autobiography of a Yogi”, although that person had not read it. That book changed my life; the possibility a human can have in one lifetime and the possibility of a technique to get done with everything was too fascinating. There is a part in the book where Kriya is referred to as the rocket technique to liberation that stuck with me. And I understood that this was what I needed. 

After that, I read books about many Masters and their relationships with their disciples. All the books emanate much love. The books really helped me and made me stable, but I was not content with them; I wanted someone to come and guide me in their physical presence. I prayed intently to Baba to send a Guru my way. To make myself eligible, I tried chanting, yoga, and a few different things. All I wanted was a Kriya Guru, and I firmly believed I would get one. I was unsure how long it would take, but I was ready to wait.

I was watching Mohanji’s videos all this while, but I was unsure if he was a realized Master, more so because of how humbly he shared his knowledge and was exceptionally down to earth. My mind had many doubts; how did he get Kriya if he didn’t have a Guru? He did not appear like a typical Guru, and he did not speak like a typical Guru.

There came the point where I looked everywhere and was bombarded with forms of Kriya applications from different Traditions, but I was too low on confidence to make such a big decision by myself. Since Mohanji’s Kriya form was the first one that came my way, I filled it out and sent it with a prayer to Baba that if this is my path and my Guru, let this form get accepted. 

Within a week, the reply came, and the application was selected. It was my absolute faith in Baba with which I accepted and understood that it was Baba’s guidance. After that, my life was never the same; everything fell into place, grace came from all directions, and things started happening in my favour.

I came out of all the negative emotions; they left me totally, so much so that now I can’t even believe that there was a time I lived like that. It seems like a memory of some past life. My relationship with Mohanji took its sweet little time to develop. Many tests happened, too; some I failed to see, some I passed, but he did not leave me through them. 

In the past two years, I have had miraculous experiences, which I will share soon.

I will conclude this one with just one more incident. When I was going home during Covid, I remember feeling uncertain and crying about the life that I thought lay ahead of me. Still, when returning to college, I distinctly remember feeling absolute gratitude for the change that had happened in my life, for the love, grace, and absolute care that I had experienced only because of Baba and Mohanji. 

The transformation was so apparent that even my mind could not deny it. Mohanji truly gave me a new life; he brought me out of self-hate to so much love that it just expressed itself to others around me. There is no way I could see it coming, and there is no way my gratitude can do justice to the grace showered upon me. There is no way I deserve all this grace.

I end this testimonial with gratitude to Mohanji for everything and to Baba for giving me the greatest gift of a lifetime, the presence of a living Master. Mohanji, please always keep me at your feet.

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 2nd March 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team

Inroad

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

By a Mohanji follower, H

I wasn’t looking for a Guru. I just wanted that elusive road map to the heart. To that wide, split-open channel through which the source charges. Forcefully. Endlessly. Lovingly. Shining upon every conceivable thing and being. The source of love. God. I wanted that. It was a place I had briefly, powerfully experienced in a dream.  

I was 19 then. I’m 46 now. Through the years, the desire for this map waxed and waned but never quite dissipated. Lately, it was pulsating like a deep point of pain. Especially now that I was a parent. 

I had always assumed I would be a loving parent. 

I am. 

But along with love, what I didn’t realize I would also cultivate was a blossoming field of expectations. There’s nothing unconditional about love in the relationships we’re accustomed to in our daily lives. Love holds them together, no doubt, but what it holds turns from desire to expectation to disappointment to resentment in predictable ways, in predictable cycles, repeatedly. And the deepest disappointment, the deepest resentment, is continually, steadily, pointed inward and expressed outward. We judge ourselves harshly and condemn others for it. 

But I didn’t know this then. All I knew is, I was tired of being angry. Of being disappointed. Of being furious in love. I tried all manner of meditations and esoteric studies. Each attempt, each avenue I had explored so far, felt like a little vein bearing the pulse of something familiar, something essential. But where was the heart? 

In early Autumn 2021, I caught sight of a poster on social media in a language I couldn’t read – someone had written a brief English translation. Two words caught my attention: Self Realization. A person named Mohanji was going to guide folks through 11 days of transformation online. It struck me instantly: this is just what I’m looking for. 

But who was Mohanji? 

The beloved relative on whose social media page I had seen the poster was a follower, but I had never discussed their engagement with their spiritual mentor. I toyed with the idea. Let it rest. Toyed some more. Before I knew it, the workshop was beginning the next morning. I called my relative, but I couldn’t get through. Not that evening. Not the next day. This was unusual. (Now, as I think back, I chuckle. The leela, the leela.)

By the next evening, I left an urgent message. Finally, I had a response. Calls were made, payments dashed off, and on the third day, I sat at the computer, listening to this bearded man exuding love, humility, and patience. So much love. So, so much love. 

It was clear. He was there. In that Godspace. He was channeling pure love. He was Love. 

Empowered 1 changed me. It caused me to drop some things easily and overnight for good. Some things were temporary, but the change was palpable. 

Several months and a couple of more Empowered workshops later, I recall telling my sister over the phone, “You know, I feel happy for the first time. Truly happy.” Depression is a secret that courses quietly through my family. We don’t talk about it. We just cry silently behind closed doors and ache deeply under broad smiles. 

More than a year later, I can say for sure that this happiness is real. That being happy is possible. Even when other emotions rise as they do every day – irritation, disappointment, anger, frustration, the deep undercurrent is one of satisfaction and happiness. Life feels bearable. Enjoyable even. And most significantly, it feels meaningful. 

But the anger. It was still there. Nothing had diminished it. It rose as frequently, as powerfully as before. And it swept me off my grounding each time. I was still far from even a glimpse of that place saturated with peace and love. 

By the end of Empowered 4, I felt I understood exactly what Mohanji was trying to ingrain in us. If you’d ask me to explain it, I could. Easily. I could see the map now. Clearly, but I hadn’t walked it yet. I didn’t know how to walk it. The practices so far had brought me to a point of deep insight, no doubt – but that subtle shift into actually experiencing the Self, even momentarily, beyond mind, body and ego was proving to be elusive. 

Months ago, my local Acharya had reached out as part of an initiative to make a video on how practitioners felt transformed through the practice of Consciousness Kriya. I told her then, “Ever since meeting Mohanji (virtually), I definitely feel transformed. But I don’t notice a shift through Kriya specifically. And I can’t bring myself to make an exaggerated claim – that would feel like a lie.” I respectfully bowed out of submitting a testimonial. 

Cue Empowered 5. I couldn’t make it to Serbia to attend the retreat in person. But I committed fully and wholly to participating online. Arrangements were made. People were informed. My partner took full responsibility for everything in our home. I switched off my phone and entered my cave. Doors shut. Ears shut. Eyes shut. The only thing I kept on was the zoom call. I let it stream through all 8 hours each day. Even though there was mostly silence, keeping it on brought in a shared energy with the satsang and a sense of being in Mohanji’s presence. 

Day 1 ended. I didn’t feel particularly successful with the practice. I had kept my eyes covered, my ears plugged, and I did the breathing as instructed. But nothing. I felt nothing. No shift. 

That night the dreams arose. Vivid. Incisive. Showing me a clear mirror to the things that drive this person called me. Hidden things. Unacknowledged little traits of vanity and pride, desires, and the subconscious projection of a carefully cultivated personality. 

On day 2, the breathing was slower and longer. I struggled with it a bit. But I practiced steadfastly – again, with little sense of success. There was no conscious, waking breakthrough. I hadn’t seen my family in two full days. I hadn’t checked my phone in 48 hours. I didn’t know what I was doing. It all seemed a bit pointless. I was weepy and exhausted. And I wanted something to hold on to, something familiar. Again, that night, more dreams. More hidden desires and traits revealed. 

Day 3, by now, the dreams were arising during daytime naps as well. (I was waking up at 2:30 am in my time zone to catch the start of the program, so I was quite drowsy by 6 am). For the first time, I felt I was getting the hang of it. Don’t expect any breakthroughs. Just power on. Breathe. Just breathe. No expectations. Just put in the work and connect with Mohanji. The breathing was even longer and slower. At some point, without realizing it, I switched to doing Kriya because it somehow made the breath less laboured. It felt natural. 

At some point, I dozed off again, and there they were. More dreams. This time bringing to light issues of shame around certain aspects of my life. Interestingly enough, there was time travel. Beings that existed outside of time (a Master) and from other timelines (some friendly, several hostile) made appearances.

That evening I had every intention of getting to bed, falling asleep, and receiving more insight through my dreams. But I tossed and turned. And every little sound in the house brought me out of my effort to sleep. At some point, the agitation was so high I directed it at my children and partner, accusing them mentally of sabotaging my ‘great spiritual effort’ by walking loudly, resenting them for willfully being in the way of my big awakening with their clumsy footsteps. 

There it was. The trap of expectation. Followed immediately by its beloved bedfellow, guilt. This time, during the brief couple of hours of fitful sleep, the dreams revealed some of my hidden fears. This was getting more and more unpleasant. 

Day 4, during the morning satsang, I learned that many people hadn’t been able to sleep the previous night. Mohanji smiled mischievously and said, “Me neither”. Aha! (A stab of guilt resurfaced for my resentment towards my family).

Mohanji explained, “What happens is, this whole thing is churning you. Your usual patterns, habits are changed… the toxins are leaving. It’s all connected to the expulsion of toxins”. Mental apologies were beamed off to my beloved family immediately. It wasn’t them; it was me. It always is. The flavour of every experience originates in one’s own mental state. Of course. Didn’t I already know this? 

The breathing was even longer and slower. And again, Kriya did the magic. By now, it was dawning on me that there really was something to the cleansing powers of Kriya. Earlier, I had to drag myself to go through the preparatory steps of Kriya – now, I couldn’t wait to do them. 

By the end of the day, the first waking realization occurred. Everything had quietened down a fair bit. The inside of my body felt like a vast dark emptiness. Everything else was outside it. Every sound, every physical thing. The only sound that lay within was my heartbeat, pulsing loudly. Boom. Boom. Boom. And further inward was the dot of awareness that was noticing this. Noticing everything. 

That’s it. Then it was gone. The briefest moment of cognition.

The whole day, my head felt strange, and my eyesight felt different. Like I was looking out through several layers of reality. This was likely due to wearing an eye mask for most of the day. Sudden re-exposure to light was perception-bending. A potent reminder that one mustn’t always trust in sensory perception or rest in the comfort of seeing things only in certain accustomed conditions. It was incredible how each aspect of Empowered 5 brought in so much insight!

That night I went to bed with fewer expectations. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I was also excited at the prospect of being reunited with my family soon – it was the last day of isolation. I felt so much love and gratitude for them. I missed them. I felt their preciousness so intensely. But I also felt a familiar pain at the imminence of not being in satsang with Mohanji after the next day. Though this time, the tears were not so much from the pain of separation but from gratitude. This time, I was able to fully trust in the ever-present knowing that my Guru, the Guru Tattva, is ALWAYS available in the spiritual heart; that I can access it anytime, anywhere. 

This realization has a lot to do with Devi’s group Mai-Tri sessions during Empowered 5. In the past, whenever I had been part of group Mai-Tri sessions, I would eventually feel completely disengaged because of my intellectual discomfort with the heightened emotionality of parts of the practice. The moment I’d hear emotion rising in the instructor’s voice, I’d be jolted out of the experience by a snarky voice in my head. “WHAT?! This is so dramatic! How can this be spiritual practice?!” the voice would say unkindly. That’s it. I’d sit there, eyes closed, fully in judgement mode. 

This time, just as I was beginning to feel discomfort from hearing deep emotion in Devi’s voice, something urgently asked me to trust. Just trust the process. That’s all it took. The snarky voice in my head was quietened by the revelation that drama IS the very nature of existence. Of the Divine Mother. Isn’t ALL of it drama? Aren’t we all here, mired in Maya because of the Mother? This is all the play of Shakti, and if She’s sitting here, guiding me Herself, then sit back and bask in it. Feel each bit of the instruction. My deepest gratitude to Devi for her sessions and for bringing the grace of the Divine Mother to our practice during Empowered 5. 

The second session with Devi revealed the biggest gift of all. It removed the veil of duality between all the beloved Gurus empanelled in my heart. During one of the early Empowered workshops long ago, I had asked Mohanji, “What if you hold more than one Guru dear in your heart?” and he said, “That’s fine, as long as you’re not connecting to the form.” I couldn’t fully comprehend it then. When Devi guided us to connect with the Tradition during Mai-Tri, even though not all of my beloved Gurus belong to the Datta tradition, I felt each one’s energy melded inextricably with that of the Tradition. 

The Tradition was a gateway to my Gurus, and my Gurus were a gateway to the Tradition. I truly felt what it means for all Gurus to be an expression of one Consciousness. Now Mohanji doesn’t just sit with Babaji and Baba in my heart; they transform into one another playfully, one speaking lovingly through the words of the other. They still have their forms, but they are one in love.  

That night, the dream was hazy. I was hovering above the ground (not walking on it) with a group of others who, like me, were dressed in white. We were all connected, and there was uniformity in our appearance. I wasn’t even in my current form or body anymore. There was a sense that we were upholding the very fabric of order. Fighting an ancient fight, not with weapons, but with an indwelling strength that was inherently loving. But it wasn’t a happy dream or a victorious one. There was uncertainty and strife on the ground. 

It wasn’t surprising when, the next day, Mohanji reiterated the need to create a strong community of brightness and positivity in each region to prepare for an uncertain future. During Mohanji’s satsang that day, I noticed a feeling of agitation rising. The online participants couldn’t have many of their questions read out and answered. Though I didn’t type any questions for Mohanji in the chatbox, many others did. And most of them seemed to be going unasked. Were the onliners being overlooked?

This feeling was short-lived. It soon became clear that this was another instance of Mohanji’s leela. Even though he would occasionally ask if there were any online questions, he didn’t need this drama of physical-world engagement. He was meeting each one of us exactly where we were in our hearts, in our homes, through every channel available to our senses. However, we still needed the drama. And so, he played along, turning to the online coordinator every now and then to check, “Any online questions?” 

How could I even entertain a doubt? Of course, I know he knows every heart. On my best days, he’s the one beaming out of mine. 

I found EACH of my questions was answered. The moment I felt I needed an answer, someone in the audience in Serbia would raise their hand and out trotted the very words that were in my head, followed by his loving answers. A few weeks later, when I met one of the in-person participants, I grinned and thanked her for asking my question. She laughed, “So it was you! I was wondering who prompted that question because I’m usually too shy to speak in front of Mohanji, but at that moment, I don’t know how the urge to raise my hand took over.” 

When Empowered 5 ended, even though I hadn’t yet experienced what I’d been looking for all these years (through lifetimes, likely), I did have the deep conviction that I had placed my first foot forward. Beyond all ideas and notions I had gathered along the way on the ‘how’ and ‘why’, I had taken my first step into actually experiencing this ineffable realm in my waking hours in a way that only this set of mental lenses called me could truly appreciate or comprehend. 

A lot of fundamental things became clear in a tangible way during those hours of seclusion and silence. Witnesshood is one such biggie. Thanks to Empowered 5, it isn’t just limited to the times I practice Mohanji’s Feel-the-Feelings process. I find I’m being able to cultivate it in my daily life – with shorter and shorter gaps between occurrence and witnessing. 

I’m able to see the cycles and patterns of unlove and closed-heartedness in tense interactions. I’ve become quicker at accepting the role of personality and conditioned defensiveness at these moments. Because of this, I’m also quicker to seek the ever-outheld hand and love-drenched embrace of my beloved Guru at such times to make a rapid recovery and to make amends that were beyond the reach of my ego earlier. 

I’m deeply flawed, but I’m beginning to get past the frustration of its endless drag. Because when the weight of the ego gets too heavy to carry, there it is, my beloved Guru’s grace, love, and acceptance. All I need is to let go, allow grace to take over, and retire Sisyphus for a moment. 

To briefly loosen the suffocating grip of this karmic garb and let the cool breeze of grace waft in for respite, lightness, and a whiff of what it could mean to be free. 

Most significantly, very slowly, I’m beginning to allow others their own perfection. To reduce the distance between my resistance (and consequent suffering), and their roles in being instruments of grace through their karma-garbed perfect presences. I see this now, clearly, though mostly still in hindsight. I’m yet to learn to be present to this Truth in the moment. 

I’m not an accomplished cartographer of the heart by far yet, but with my Guru’s infinite grace, I’ve made my first firm step into an arterial inroad. 

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 23rd February 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team

Traveling with grace

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

Getha Padmanathan, Malaysia

I would like to share my recent experiences with Mohanji in Shirdi Program, 16 – 18th December 2022. As soon as I signed up for the program, I started to face a few challenges and obstacles until the day I reached Shirdi.

At first, I had a tough time getting the passport ready and then went through a messy way of booking the flight ticket. On top of that, my sister, who usually helps me with flight bookings, complained and was very stressed, but I needed her as I was unfamiliar with flight bookings.

Finally, we managed to book the tickets (Kuala Lumpur – Chennai – Shirdi) with my sister’s help and input from the Mohanji Malaysia family, not knowing the challenges we had to face this time. During the journey, we were supposed to transit in Chennai, but unfortunately, the plane could not land due to cloudy weather. 

We were told that we had flown round and round 9 times before the plane decided to land at Hyderabad airport. After waiting for an hour or so, we flew back again to Chennai. By then, we had missed the connecting flight, and there weren’t any flights to Shirdi on that day. So we booked the earliest flight available on the 16th, arriving in Shirdi at 10.45 am, and sadly we missed the half-day program, which I was not happy about.

Initially, my plan was to visit the Samadhi Mandir and Dwarkamayi first before attending the program. But this did not happen and I prayed silently in my heart that by Mohanji’s grace, I wished to see him first before going to the program. 

Once we arrived at Shirdi airport, we rushed to our hotel, which was near Samadhi Mandir, and when we came out to look for an auto, someone near the mandir handed over two packets of Udi to us. Wow, we were surprised and so happy and took it as a sign of Baba’s darshan. And I thought, as I could not visit him at the Mandir, Baba himself came to me. Thank you so much, Baba.

Then we got into the auto and went straight to the St Laurens Hotel for the program, and when we reached there, we were again surprised. Mohanji was standing outside the hotel entrance, smiling as if waiting for our arrival. We immediately bowed down at his feet to seek his blessings. I was so happy Mohanji fulfilled my wish. We were indeed grateful to be blessed by two great Masters. Thank you so much, Mohanji and Baba, for this wonderful darshan.

 Thank you, Mohanji, for your grace and protection as I was able to walk even though I fell and injured my knee a few days before the trip. The pain was there, especially going up the hotel staircase, but it was bearable and also Thank you, Mohanji, for protecting my family members and me on our way to the airport when the car accidentally went onto the oncoming lane, but we managed to make a quick u-turn back to the right lane. 

Thank you, Baba, for your love and guidance and thank you, Mohanji, for all these experiences and the wonderful and amazing opportunities I had during the program. And Thank you so much, Mohanji, because all your teachings, meditations, chantings, Consciousness Kriya, Empowered program 1-4, and others which I have attended since 2022 have helped me so much in my spiritual progress. I was able to witness my own strength and stability in accepting the above situation with calmness and with full clarity.

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 18th February 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team

Nila Aarti with Mohanji

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

Surya Sujan, India

Surya Sujan, a dear friend and follower of Mohanji shares her recent experience with Mohanji during the Nila Aarati that took place in Kerala in January 2023.

For participating in the Nila Aarti, Sreeja, her son and I travelled from Kannur by the 5 am train. Sreeja and her son were there to get the Shaktipat and meet Mohanji. We reached the Nila Aarti venue by eight o’clock. Devadas, his family, and I helped set the stage at the venue. Mohanji also reached the hotel, which was near the venue where the event was going on. Soon the guests and those who had registered for this event started arriving. 

By 9 am – 9: 35am, I went to the hotel with Vipin Kudiyath because I wanted to meet Mohanji. I wanted to welcome him.   I was planning to surprise Mohanji, as Mohanji didn’t know I was coming to Palakkad for the Nila Aarti and this was the third time I was going to see Mohanji, so I didn’t tell him I would be coming. When I knocked on the door and went in, Mohanji was sitting alone. We had a great hug with lots of love from Mohanji. I was so happy. I felt the love as if it came from my mother, my Guruji, or my friend.

We then went to the Nila Aarti event. The Nila Aarti is celebrated on the banks of the Nila River located at Cheruthurti, Paangavu Shiva Kshetra, Trichur, Kerala. From that time onwards, I was with Mohanji. I managed the entire program as Mohanji instructed me to take the lead. We were seated in the first row. After the ‘Ashtapathy’ rendition, Mohanji was seated in a grand chair on the stage and the satsang began.

Initially, I was sitting with Mohanji, and I felt uncomfortable sitting in the same level as the Guru. I slowly tried to sit at the second-level seating position. But Mohanji indicated for me to remain seated next to him. The Nila Aarti was powerful to witness in the presence of Mohanji.

We had our lunch together at Mohanji’s insistence and were the first to have lunch. Then he told me that he had a meeting with Moksha Trust and I (Surya) should go to the room and wait for him there. I said I’d be waiting for him at the banks of Nila because I wanted to arrange the lamps – to pour oil on the wicks. I went straight from there with Sreeja. It was a huge surprise for me that Sreeja, with her four young, vibrant team from Ernakulum had come to volunteer.

Chitra, myself, Sreeja and her teams arranged the earthen lamps on the banks of Nila by 6 pm. Around 6.15 pm, Mohanji arrived and we welcomed Mohanji. A good concert of music and dance highlighting the importance of river Nila, followed by a Kathakali recital on Ashtapathi padam was organised. Mohanji then gave a brief speech that was direct, and precise regarding the importance of a river, the importance of a river to a human being and how it affects our lives etc. It was a powerful and succinct speech by Mohanji.

I had booked my return ticket along with Mohanji, but my booking was in another coach. Mohanji called me over the mike and said it was very late. Devadas came to say that Mohanji was calling me for dinner. I sat next to Mohanji for dinner as well. I feel so blessed and touched that Mohanji assigned various tasks that needed to be done and he wanted me next to him. I don’t know what connection I have with him that he gives me so much love and importance in front of everyone. After we had dinner, there was cake cutting. I washed Mohanji’s plates and we left together for the hotel where Mohanji and I had an important talk regarding some other things. After the HSTY yoga trainer left, I told Mohanji to rest or take a short nap. I set the alarm and took care of the other needed arrangements.

While Mohanji was resting, I read the small Gita book he had gifted me. I had just finished the preface and the first chapter when Mohanji woke up. It was 10 pm. Mohanji said, “Let us go. The train is at 11pm.” Soon Vipin, Mohanji and I came to the railway station, got into the train, and settled in our berths. My stop was Kannur, and the train would stop there at 2:00 am. Mohanji said it was an odd time to get off the train and that I should join him and go to Udupi. But I had not told my family about this and my car was parked at the Kannur railway station from the previous morning five am. So I said, “Mohanji, I’ll meet you at Palakkad on January 31.”

At two o’clock, I got down from the train after prostrating at his Lotus feet and quickly got into my car. While I was starting the car, somebody came and asked me to slide the window down. He said, “Your left wheel has a puncture.” I was shocked! He said, “Actually I was waiting for you, chechi. Your car was punctured early in the morning itself. We didn’t have your number. How can you go at this time? So I got a number from some other guy who can change the tyre with a spare tyre. I said, “I can’t sit here. Nobody’s here.” He said, “No. Don’t worry. You sit in this tent, and in the meantime, we’ll call the car mechanic and get your car fixed.”

There was no policeman around. Nothing was there on that quiet night besides a shed in the parking area. As I sat in the tent, after about 10 to 15 min, the mechanic came to fix the car. It was just the parking attendant, the repair guy and me in the parking lot. And this was because I had told the parking attendant man who was on night duty the day I boarded the train that I would arrive at 2 am early the next day, and the kind man was waiting for me after finishing his morning duty. He waited for me in the parking lot, not only to inform me that my car tyre had a puncture but also had rallied someone to repair my car. He said, “If you can repair it now, it will be fine. Otherwise tomorrow in the hot sun and this heavy traffic you can’t do all these things here. So I waited for you!” In 10-15 minutes, the repairman changed the car stepney.

Early that morning, we travelled to Shornur and were in the AC coach of a train, the 15th coach from the engine. Two elderly ladies aged 79 or 80, somehow got into the AC coach with three big bags as they could not locate their coaches. The elderly ladies sat down and desperately tried to figure out their seats, not knowing they were not in their allotted coaches. When I saw their tickets, I mentioned that their coach was closest to the engine, 14 coaches away from the current one. It was difficult for them to make their way to their coach with their pieces of luggage on a moving train.

As the elderly women reminded me of my mother, I carried their bags to their coach, helped them to their seats, and then returned to my seat. Everyone watched me walk up and down to help these elderly women including the Governor of Goa, Sridharan Pillai. I came back half an hour or 20 minutes later, fully drenched in sweat, but I helped them.

One of the elderly ladies told me, “You are like God to me!  Jesus himself has brought you to help us.” I said, “You deserve this help. It could be Jesus or Allah or any God! But you deserve this help because you are like my mother,” and returned to my seat. What you sow, so you reap! That’s probably why the guy in the parking lot waited for me till 2 am and also arranged a mechanic to change the car tyre.

I wonder who is orchestrating all this behind the lines. In Mohanji’s talk, he said, to accept our karma, accept ourselves and be a role-model to the society and our children. The parents should be role-model to children as children imbibe or follow the actions of the parents. This was a wonderful opportunity to serve two elderly people considering them as my parents.

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 16th February 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team

Experiences of Empowered 5 – Part 3

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

By Linda Abrol, Netherlands

In the final part of this testimonial, Linda shares some of her beautiful experiences with Mohanji in India after the Empowered programme.

The moment I got home from Serbia at the end of October 2022, my existing problems worsened. It was as if the Kailash challenge had come home with me. And not unsolicited or unwanted. It was welcome but also extremely painful. 

Energy prices were skyrocketing, and our popular vegetarian Indian restaurant, where energy is used in abundance for the tandoor oven, the big gas stove, and all the refrigerators and freezers, the dishwashers, the grease filtering system and lighting, was quickly heading toward bankruptcy. 

My husband’s depression worsened together with our marital problems. And that to an unbearable point where my husband and I began to discuss divorce seriously. Since I didn’t have a job, ageing and osteoarthritis made the chance of finding a job difficult – living on my own seemed virtually impossible. Not wanting to depend on others, I faced the worst-case scenario of becoming homeless.

I simply witnessed the possibility and was amazed at how balanced and empowered I felt beneath the emotions and mind games. I kept my back straight and continued to practice my focus on alignment by concentrating on Guru Consciousness, self-acceptance, Kriya, inner silence and, in extreme situations, Pause Technique. 

The same issue I faced during the days of the Empowered retreat in Serbia surfaced again and again – misunderstanding – but with more intensity. To the extent that I thought that no one really understood my pure intentions. Many loved ones seemed to look at me through a veil of their convictions, colours, ideas, and opinions and judged me for almost every decision I made with a pure heart.

My decisions seemed totally egoistic in the eyes of nearly all my dear ones, and their judgment seemed final. I felt extreme loneliness. Kailash and Empowered 5 energies seemed to intensify my challenges. Shiva takes everything and leaves you empty, but only with your permission. It is like buying a ticket for a rollercoaster ride and yet being surprised by its ferocity.

Fortunately, I didn’t resist even the deepest feeling of desperation and fear of the unknown and stayed considerably stable. Both Kailash and Empowered didn’t only trigger the trials. They gave the ‘medicines’ as well in the form of a deep underlying peace, acceptance and a feeling of absolute safety, no matter what happened.

In the midst of all personal trouble and trauma, I bought my ticket for India to attend Sri Sathya Sai Baba’s birthday celebration, which was being conducted yearly on the 23rd of November 2022 in Sri Soma Sai Skanda Ashram in Nidugatha, Maddur taluk, near Bangalore. This was the first time the celebrations were held without the presence of Swami Gopal Baba, who took samadhi in 2020.

After his samadhi, covid prevented any celebration in the ashram. While still in the body, he had asked all of us devotees to keep attending the celebrations even after his samadhi. I couldn’t disappoint my Guru, and although our financial situation seemed to be under immense pressure, I completely trusted that the universe (the Tradition) would take care.

But the deciding factor to go was the chance that Mohanji would attend the celebrations. A few months ago, I woke up with a strong feeling: how wonderful would it be to celebrate our beloved Sathya Sai Baba’s birthday in Swami Gopal Baba’s ashram in Mohanji’s divine presence? 

Experience has taught me that those ‘satwic desires’ tended to come true. I called my friend Sita and told her of my vision. She said that her husband Nico had a dream in which he saw Mohanji in ‘Kalyanpur’s room’. Kalyanpur was a businessman who donated the money for many constructions in the ashram. He had an apartment in the ashram where he would stay when construction work was going on. This sounded wonderful to me. We decided that B. was the best person to invite Mohanji to the ashram personally, and Sita asked him if he was prepared to do that. He loved the idea and said he would consider it.

We took that as a ‘yes’ and assumed that Mohanji was officially invited. Every time I thought of my coming journey to the ashram, I felt the joy of Mohanji being there. Both Sita and I sent an unofficial WhatsApp message to Chris Greenwood, Mohanji’s EA, and I mentioned in a message to Preeti Duggal – still assuming that Mohanji was already invited – our sincere prayer that he would be willing to be present at the coming celebrations in Sri Soma Sai Skanda Ashram.

Mohanji was in Delhi and appeared to have extended his stay there beyond the expected arrival time in the Sri Soma Sai Skanda Ashram. He was North, and we were South. Somehow, I knew he would change his mind. There was no fear, doubt, or desire, simply a happy anticipation. And a prayer that all Swami’s disciples would feel Gopal Baba’s love through him.

Always when a great Master takes samadhi, and there is no appointed successor, a situation arises where there may be confusion about future plans, convictions, positions and opinions, mixed with intense feelings of mourning about the Master. As far as I could see, despite this turbulent time, Swami’s boys and sevadals did an amazing job of upholding the Guru’s will and maintaining the ashram according to his liking. They never missed performing a ritual that Swami Gopal Baba would have done, even if no attendee or visitor showed up.

A few days before the birthday celebrations, my travel companion, Yvonne, and I visited Mohanji’s ashram in Bangalore to join in the noon aarathi and to embrace Amma and Acchan, Mohanji’s parents. Rajesh Kamath was home and told us that Mohanji had changed his plan and cut his visit to Delhi short to come to the ashram in Nidugatha. I was over the moon with joy, as you can imagine.

On the 23rd of November, I heard Mohanji’s voice inside me: ‘… therefore, I was sent (from Delhi) to the South to look after my children.’ I experienced it as a confirmation of my prayer that Gopal Baba would bring clarity and happiness in the form of Mohanji. Swami Sri Gopal Baba was the embodiment of the divine Mother and – although occupying a male body – would call us her children. Now it was absolutely clear to me that she had come on this auspicious day to look after her children in my beloved Mohanji’s form. 

When Mohanji actually arrived, and I got the chance to express a few words of gratitude, he simply said: ‘I had to come!’ What a blessing it was, and what a confirmation! Mohanji was received by Swami’s disciples with all regards, was invited to the sanctum sanctorum of the main (Kamakshi) temple, had lunch in Kalyanpur’s apartment, just like Nico’s dream had already predicted a year earlier, visited Swami’s house, walked hand in hand with the main trustee of the ashram, inaugurated the newly built dispensary and made each and every disciple happy by his unconditional love.

Beautiful pictures of this joyful occasion can be found on Mohanji’s official Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/MohanjiOfficial/posts/pfbid028ApVHoTyYQ5bYromd7Fn8mm3rHXtSYZHJaogaub8h2PCwwJuSd82P4WiEPWbD4awl

After the celebrations, the real mystery evolved. Who had officially invited Mohanji? It appeared that our assumption B. would do it had not come true. B. had not been able to invite Mohanji for some understandable reasons that he explained to us later. But he told us that Dinesh – one of Swami Gopal Baba’s devotees from Delhi, who happened to have walked the Outer Kora with Mohanji – had invited him during his recent stay in Delhi.

My Sherlock Homes instinct woke up. I sent a message to Dinesh. He answered: ‘No, I didn’t invite Mohanji. I only mentioned the celebrations to him. Mohanji then told me that He had heard about the celebrations from Preeti Duggal and a few others, and He ‘impulsively’ decided to attend them while talking to me.’ I was stunned to hear this.

Then who invited Mohanji officially? How did The Mother come to her children? Was it simply the innocent and sincere prayer of two of her children and a dream of a third that invited her all the way South? Dinesh and Sita said: ‘It was the Tradition that invited Mohanji.’ My inner voice had already confirmed that statement. Which mother needs an official invitation to come to her children? The mother is simply drawn towards her children when they need her. She knows every need, even before her child cries. 

Miracles do happen, but it is not a good thing to assume things without checking facts and turning them into a miracle. Therefore I didn’t end my search here. I asked the managing trustee of the Sri Soma Sai Skanda ashram, and the missing part of the mystery got solved.

After hearing from Dinesh about Mohanji’s change of plans and his intention to visit the Sri Soma Skanda Ashram, they officially invited him for lunch and the inauguration ceremony of the dispensary, despite the intern rule of the Trust to not invite any spiritual Gurus or Masters to the ashram during major functions like Swamy aradhana, and Sathya Sai birthday. The reason was understandable and simple. They all would be busy with function activities and probably would not be able to receive their official and holy guests with proper rituals. 

So, the actual miracle was that for Mohanji, the Trust members made an exception to their own rule. A miracle was that Mohanji came spontaneously, despite having other plans in Delhi. That it so happened that he had another function in Bangalore on the same day and could combine them conveniently.

Nico’s dream was part of the miracle, and our prayers that came true were part of the miracle. Our hearts being filled to the brim with love and joy was part of the miracle. Kannaiah’s presence and his being able to officially welcome Mohanji and attend to all his needs while Swami’s Indian disciples were busy with the function was part of the miracle.

Seeing Mohanji humbly bowing down in sincere respect to our Guru’s picture in his house, despite his own immeasurable spiritual status, was part of the miracle. Mohanji’s remark during our goodbye was that we were welcome in his ashram in Bangalore during the remainder of our stay in India was part of the miracle. 

Sita, Nico, Yvonne and I were blessed to spend three afternoons with Mohanji before we flew home, with many hours of satsang. And with blessings and hugs of dear Amma and Achan, his parents who felt very very close, eating with the family, attending aarathi, watching Mohanji in the set up for a live zoom session, meditating in the guestroom while he was doing some other work.

On the day before our flight, Mohanji served us our meal like a divine Mother. He served every item with his own hands and didn’t forget anybody or anything. Once again, during this journey, he proved that he is not only the embodiment of the Divine Father but the Divine Mother as well! 

These were sheer miracles and completely unexpected. On how we deserved this grace while Mohanji had such an incredibly busy life being involved in activities in 91+ countries, He answered (as I remember): ‘It is not easy to get to me like this. You have been involved with sadhana and with Masters for many years.’ 

We experienced so many blessed miracles on this journey that we had to ask ourselves: are we able to digest all this? As soon as I heard my limited thinking, I recognized the mind talk and directed my mind towards more elevated ways of watching the course of events: being with our Guru involves being open and limitless. There is nothing to digest. Digesting is limited to a person.

Being in divine presence requires simply flowing and experiencing the grace of every living moment. In the best-case scenario, there is only Him. My sincere prayer is: May we all be able to flow in Guru Consciousness, where there is no mine or me. Experience moment by moment. And as soon as we forget, may we wake up to his presence once again.

Experiences of Empowered 5 – Part 2

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 4th February 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team

Experiences of Empowered 5 – Part 2

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

By Linda Abrol, Netherlands

In part 2 of this testimonial, Linda shares her wonderful experiences during the Empowered 5 program and her journey afterwards.

For me, the absolute highlight of the event was the following experience which I am so happy to share. In the week before the event, I started the translation of the book Kailash with Mohanji, The Inner Kora. On the evening of the third day, I suddenly felt inspired – and this came from an intense, deep longing from somewhere inside – to write a small note for Mohanji and place it between the cover and the title page of the book. 

Having had the opportunity to dive into the vastness and stillness of the Himalayas by translating the Miraculous Days by Rajesh Kamath, a longing to experience the life-changing pilgrimage had occurred. I wanted to honour the authenticity of the experiences described, and what would support that purpose better than becoming an experienced expert? Since it was likely that I would never be able to make the pilgrimage in this life because of a life-threatening blood disease, I asked in my note if Mohanji would bless me to walk two circumambulations around him: one for the Outer Kora and one for the Inner Kora experience. For I suddenly felt very deeply and clearly that He represented both. 

Waves of emotions arose from inside of me at the very thought of it. I received his short and sweet answer the next day. He wrote underneath my request: Definitely Linda, Mohanji. I was thrilled and anticipated the feeling of making the rounds and feeling so much freedom, but I had no clue how and when this would happen. 

Day 4 arrived. This time, I joined the line of people waiting for a word or a blessing from Mohanji or for a personal question. My heart was pounding with the beats of a sledgehammer when I thought of the question I had already asked in the letter. I literally thought for a moment that I would die on the spot. What would people think of this action? It scared me. But I decided that no fear would stop me from doing what my heart clearly dictated. 

The blood condition I was diagnosed with in August, which caused my blood to attack itself, made me vulnerable to a heart attack or a brain infarct. This was not a time to get guided by fears for anybody’s opinion. So I told myself what I learned from my daughter when she was young: be afraid but don’t stop. 

When it was my turn to spend some moments with Mohanji, I touched his feet with all my love. He looked at me with bright eyes and with a big smile he said encouragingly: ‘Linda! You wrote me a letter?!’ ‘Yes, Mohanji,’ I smiled back. ‘Repeat your question,’ he said. ‘You are my Kailash, Mohanji, would you kindly permit me to…,’ before I could even finish my sentence, he said: ‘I will stand up,’ and he positioned himself right in front of the stage on the floor, giving me ample space to walk around him. 

I bowed down at his feet to receive his blessings to finish the journey safely, for I considered it as The Real Thing. And very reverently, I finished the first circumambulation for the Outer Kora and inwardly asked blessings for the Inner Kora round. It was an intense experience, and I thanked him from the bottom of my heart after the last round. I sat down on my chair to meditate, but my teeth started chattering profusely as if I just came from the coldest of places. 

I ordered them to stop and tried to relax to allow it to happen, but it continued with regular spastic movements of the whole body. A clear sign to me that it had not been an ordinary journey. Bodies never lie. Even the next two days, the spastic movements happened but only when Mohanji looked my way or when I felt the Kailash experience. I have no words to describe my gratitude for the immense grace that fell upon me, and I can only thank Mohanji times and again for his consent. 

When the alarm rang on the morning after the five silent days, my body was still tired, and I felt like pulling my blanket over my head and continuing my sleep. I said to Mohanji inside: ‘I would like to catch some more sleep.’ His immediate answer came unexpectedly: ‘Better put your mind to sleep.’ But my mind went off enthusiastically, louder than the alarm clock. Again I heard his voice: ‘Better give your mind a break.’ With this valuable advice, I went back to the world of noise. Absolutely sure that my life will never be the same. 

On the way home from the Empowered 5 retreat in Zlatibor, we were ready to check in at Belgrade Airport, and I suddenly remembered that I had my fanny pack with my passport in my check-in luggage. I searched my entire suitcase, but to my horror, the passport was not in its usual place in the bag. My friends asked if it was still at the reception desk of the Zlatibor hotel. 

In the hustle and bustle of meeting dear acquaintances, I had not noticed that I hadn’t gotten my passport back when I got the room key. At check-out, the receptionist hadn’t mentioned anything. To summarise, I was not allowed to fly and stood like a bunny in the spotlight, trying to control my heart rate with the pause technique. Two conflicting currents ran through my system at the same time. 

The current one was an expectant ‘Just move on to the next most effective step. Everything is ok. Maybe it will even be an exceptional fun detour with a possibility of extra satsang and a nice chill with Mohanji family members.’ Stream two was the fear stream, and it was slowly trying to overrule stream one. It succeeded quite well. A whole arsenal of questions shot through my head in a matter of seconds. Realistic and fearful and mixed. Mohanji would have been fine with the realistic ones. 

Who to call first? How do I reach people if I’m somewhere with no wifi and I’m in a pickle? How does my passport get from Zlatibor to Belgrade? Can I rebook my flight? If not, will I manage to pay for a new ticket with my credit card this time? It didn’t work out the last time when I was in India. What will be the extra costs? When will there be a new flight? Is it dangerous in this country for women alone? Mohanji help! This is very much out of my comfort zone. India is already so familiar, but Serbia is so unfamiliar to me. 

Meanwhile, an empowerment participant, Jesus from Mexico, cast himself as an unexpected guardian angel, and I immediately saw Mohanji’s hand in the play. On the one hand, I was once again faced with the consequences of ‘not being present’, and on the other hand, there was immediate relief in the form of help. My friends spoke words of support. My friend and roommate in Zlatibor, Sylvia, stayed beside me with Jesus until they were assured that the most important questions had been answered through Jesus’ phone calls to the right people. Then he ran from counter to counter for information. 

They kept supporting me until they almost missed their own flight, but when they saw I was fine and under the covers, they ran to catch their own. If this is not divine intervention… That touched me immensely, and I told them so at length afterwards. Mohanji’s intervention did not end there. I found a desk with a friendly ground staffer who arranged a new ticket at a very reasonable price for me with KLM, and payment went smoothly. 

Cecilia, a friend of Jesus from Belgrade and Mohanji Angel number three, picked me up by car and gave me the key to a studio where I could sleep. How cool is that? I didn’t even know her. Only the connection with Mohanji was enough for her to offer her hospitality and full support. Unfortunately, she herself didn’t have time for satsang and had to rush home to manage her urgent affairs. 

I felt seriously lost once I was alone. The energy of the city hung over me like a heavy blanket. Eating alone in a restaurant was not very helpful. I kept trying to connect inwardly and feel what I was feeling. What I felt stayed with a dreary frozen-bunny-in-the-spotlight feeling because I was alone and uncomfortable, but it was what it was. ‘Take a breath and be present’ was my advice to myself. Then came a redeeming app from Tijana, who was on her way by bus from Zlatibor with my passport because she had to travel to Belgrade anyway. Wherever I would be in Belgrade, she would come to me, was her promise. That was Mohanji Angel number 4! 

She appended that just around the corner from my studio happened to be the weekly meditation evening being held that evening at Belgrade’s Mohanji Center. A Mohanji Center is around the corner! In a giant city of over a million people where even regular residents lose their way! And the start time was in half an hour. What a synchronicity! After a curious search (I had been given the wrong address) where, in the spirit of ‘don’t give up before you are defeated’, I had to ring the doorbell of total strangers to tap into Wi-Fi for a while, Finally, I found the Center and was warmly welcomed. 

It was not until the meditation that I discovered a strong inner resistance to my fear of being alone in a strange city. The fear had been obvious during the afternoon, but the resistance to the fear had not, and it was the very one that caused a blockage in my flow. Fear in itself is not a blockage. It is natural. But fear of the fear or resistance to the fear is. It makes you not really allow yourself to feel the fear. With Mohanji’s ‘feel the feeling’ in mind, I was able to feel and embrace the fear and through that softening, it finally gave way to the enjoyment and gratitude that lay underneath. 

Mohanji Angel number 5 – she had a difficult name – gently translated the Serbian spoken information into my ear before and after the meditation. After a lovely Bliss of Silence meditation, we took fun group photos, and someone ran away, only to reappear after a few minutes with bags full of yummy goodies. “Why don’t we make an impromptu Happy Tuesday instead of Happy Wednesday?” he said enthusiastically, establishing himself as Mohanji’s Angel number 6 to materialize the chill-satsang that I had imagined at the airport. 

Everyone was so sweet, and when we started translating ‘I love you’ into two languages, all the remaining Mohanji Belgrade angels laughed very much at the sound of the Dutch word for ‘you’. To them, it sounded like a cat and ‘you’ conveniently became ‘meow meow’. Two days earlier, on the morning of the Diwali celebration, I woke up feeling: Mohanji is the manifestation of the Wish-fulfilling Tree as the Sathya Sai Baba devotees among us know it from Puttaparthi. Thank you, Mohanji! 

My most delicious recipe for manifesting my vision: I imagine what would make me very happy and what is within my purpose. I offer it at the feet of my Guru. I feel joy and gratitude in advance. Then let go of any outcome and stay with a sense of expectant joy, and remain curious as to how the Guru will manifest this or something better. The taste and outcome of this recipe are sheer grace.

After arrival at Schiphol Airport, while driving home with my husband, I received a phone call from the hospital. The result of the latest blood test of my ‘incurable’, ‘untreatable’ and life-threatening autoimmune disorder was negative! I was completely cured. The diagnosis of the illness and my miraculous way towards this result are described in three previous blogs about my treatment in the ayurvedic hospital Vedasudha in Kerala. The only thing that I could do that moment in the car was a loud and extremely joyful: Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, Mohanji!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I started editing the above experiences, one month after the retreat, Cecilia came to my mind and my gratitude towards her. I opened WhatsApp, and who was writing to me? Cecilia! Saying: ‘You came to my mind, and I thought of writing you…’ 

I decided to keep the above testimonial with me for a while to experience the post-Empowerment effects and to add them to my testimonial. 

Part 3 to be continued…

Please click on the link below to read part 1 of this testimonial.

https://mohanjichronicles.com/2023/01/21/experiences-of-empowered-5-part-1/

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 28th January 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team

Lessons living with Mohanji – Days 191 & 192

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

By Christopher Greenwood

Day 191 – God is a presence 

Today I share a lesson, which is more of an ongoing exploration. Mohanji shared with us that God is a presence. He shared that God is everywhere and that this presence activates all of life, including us. As humans, we can connect with that presence inside, which is always there. He has described this as the oil inside the almond seed: it exists, but it’s not outwardly visible until the almond is squeezed, and then the oil comes out.

He’s not suggesting that we need to be squeezed. But there’s a way to connect to the presence inside through silence beyond the mind. He also shared that this is difficult as, in the waking state, we’re addicted to all our – thoughts, activities, possessions, experiences, and outward actions in the world.

I used to find this difficult to understand and what helped me was a metaphor used based on the sun. The sun as a presence is always there, always giving light. It’s only because of the earth’s rotation that we see, or it appears to be, that the sun rises and sets. But it’s there all the time, providing nourishment and energy for life to exist. The light is always there. But individually, if we decide to close ourselves behind doors, or windows, shut the curtains, which we could say is our mind; our patterns, habits, or identifications, and we decide to sit in darkness, the sun will have no problem. It’s still there; it still does its job completely unaffected.

This then also prompted me to ask, “Okay, well, how do I know? How can I if I am connecting to the presence inside? Is there a measure of progress which I could use?” For me, it’s one thing to hear this and to understand it logically or intellectually as a concept, but how can that translate into experience, something that I can hold, taste, or say, “Okay, I understand something’s happening, and this is true.” 

These are a few benchmarks I picked up from Mohanji, the signs we can recognize connecting to that presence. (For me, it’s still an exploration that’s in progress) 

1. Reduction in thoughts and overall chatter of the mind – your thoughts are reducing; the habitual ones which used to come are no longer there. That could mean increased silence within. 

2. A clear reduction, or a complete avoidance, of any criticisms, judgments, gossip about others or other negative interactions. This naturally happens because there’s an increasing acceptance of my own life and that of others, recognizing that we don’t really know what makes up a person. The best we can do is to accept them as they are, as another being. This has been the most tangible for me. 

3. A reduction in the usual desires and patterns that I once had. These patterns and desires would push me to do things in the world, like interacting, going to places, and doing things I was attached to. These have dropped off completely, or their intensity has reduced. And I’d put that down to detachment.

Day 192 – Acceptance unites & doubts separate 

We are here at the Serbian retreat and at the program called “The Truth Called You”. So far, it’s been a fantastic series of satsangs. Mohanji has shared some great insights; understandings of the path of liberation. Yesterday in satsang, he was asked a very honest and sincere question, which became another solid understanding of the importance of acceptance. 

Q: “How can I increase my connection?”

Mohanji: “Imagine a bridge between you and me, and there are maybe five steps across the bridge. What brings you closer? 

Acceptance. Acceptance of him (Mohanji) as he is.”

Q: “What takes you away or separates you?” 

Mohanji: “Doubts, criticisms, judgments….” (Just doubts, but it extended into criticisms and judgments.)

I’ve always loved how simply Mohanji can put an answer across. He shared that anything else is really a play of the mind. The level of connection he speaks of means it’s always there, and it’s the mind creating that separate identification purposefully, so that separation is created. 

He continued to speak more on acceptance of people and shared a funny story, which made me laugh, yet also contemplate on acceptance of others, especially people in my own life. It’s much easier, he said, for us to accept animals and nature, very easy for us to like a cat or a dog or any other animal, but other humans… That’s where it becomes a bit difficult. 

I include myself when I say that we are quick to form opinions of others, to judge and criticize. It’s something I’m becoming much more aware of from my past, and now seeing it, observing it with other people, is that people can be quick to buy the opinions of others from others. People talk or give their opinion on somebody else and then hold it as if it’s theirs. This can even turn into future conflicts and even more intense impressions about that person. 

He shared one man’s approach to accepting others, which I really liked. It was a story from his shipping days. Mohanji worked in the shipping business, managing freight from various countries as a Country Manager. Whenever there was an important shipment or cargo, he would personally go and supervise.

He’d spend time on the ship, and he would be with people, with the crew, and one man Mohanji said, used to call everybody by an animal name.

“Oh, look, here comes the tiger. He’s angry again.” Or, “Did you see what the monkey has done?” Like that, every person had an animal name. Mohanji asked the man, “Why was he calling them animals and not by their name?”

The man said, “Well, I find it much easier to accept him that way. Because I know a tiger will always be like a tiger, a monkey will always be like a monkey, and an elephant will be like an elephant! Although they are like this, it is fine; I can accept them more easily.” I found that approach very ingenious – interesting thought of what also stops me from accepting others.

To conclude, the message from Mohanji was: Acceptance is what unites us, and if it’s difficult to accept others, as Mohanji always says first, we can at least begin to accept ourselves. 

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 22nd January 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team

Experiences of Empowered 5 – Part 1

Posted on by Mohanji Testimonials

By Linda Abrol, Netherlands,

Honestly, this was the most challenging retreat I have ever attended. And I can tell from experience, for I have been attending holistic retreats ever since 2004. Now that the time for comfort zone spirituality (quoting Rajesh Kamath) seems to be over and the real thing is being chosen by many, we all plunged into an unknown zone of sitting for hours without much sensory diversion (apart from snoring – a so-called zoo according to Mohanji), fully focussing on our inner world. 

Initially, Mohanji supported huge inner cleansing by asking for two group Mai-Tri sessions on consecutive days. We were blindfolded, no eye contact or communication was allowed, we had earplugs, and while walking to the diner room or the toilet, we looked down to the ground in front of us. The simple fact of being ignored by the other participants brought up a lot of stuff for me. We tend to take everything personally and attach the energy of the present moment to some past traumatic experience. In the past traumatic event, we took some conclusions that were actually meant to prevent a similar painful feeling in our futures but, in reality, transformed into convictions and patterns that only prevent living a life of wholeness. 

During the start of Empowerment 5, these convictions and emotions initially rose quickly to the surface. But since I have done so much emotional and mental cleansing over the years, they didn’t cause huge inner turbulence, only discomfort. With the help of the instructions given by Mohanji, I could simply watch them. But I couldn’t escape the restlessness that arose from the feelings. Later I found that it was because I didn’t really allow myself to freely feel what I was feeling. 

I mentalised my feelings by witnessing them. It was another form of suppression. Witnessing is great as long as one doesn’t resist feeling the feelings which I did unconsciously. The restlessness caused by feelings of worthlessness, misunderstanding and ‘being tolerated instead of loved and appreciated’ came up for me because I was being ‘ignored by others.’ The inner system – because of past trauma – translates the fact that somebody didn’t look at me as ‘being judged and being considered as trash’ whereas the truth is that they didn’t ignore anybody but simply focused inside as per instructions. 

The feeling of discomfort invited me to think: what do I miss most in this setting? I wrote down in my writing binder: Acknowledgment, exchange of love, touch, and a loving glance. I carried some inspiration cards in my suitcase, and in the evenings, I would randomly pick one, and the first one read: ‘Stay happy with yourself’. It shifted my focus from looking for an outer acknowledgement to allowing inner safety to surface. The simple text turned into my ‘mantra’ for the rest of the week whenever I caught myself in self-judgement. 

I had come with high expectations of breaking through everything that kept me away from the deep silence and consequently elevated experiences, but they seemed, except for a few wonderful moments and hours, to remain out. I noticed that when my mind would drift off from the breathing technic, we were instructed to do, I tended to tighten certain facial muscles. After loosening them consciously, my mind reacted by relaxing a bit as well. 

Fortunately, I was quite balanced during the rest of the five days. Only initially, the restrictions of sensory input caused some adolescent feelings of rebellion. When Mohanji advised us to focus on our purpose and vision instead of resisting the rules that were made to benefit us, I was able to remember that I was there because of my deep longing for total liberation. 

Yet, the silence and closure to the world of the senses seemed to bring me little except muscle pain and resistance, and I wondered what shift was already taking place subconsciously; for after all, Mohanji had promised: no one would go home empty-handed. The resistance kept playing tricks on me no matter how I tried to relax into it and accept it. I could not find the switch to turn. As we had been advised, witnessing’ was what brought us closest to (relative) peace. 

But the various energies of other participants, the noises, the snoring and the emotions of the people around me caused my head to be always active and in vigil mode, except when Mohanji spoke and the period shortly after He left us to meditate till lunchtime. Then I sank into bliss. Not the deepest form of ‘total dissolution’, but a wonderful calmness, love, acceptance and relaxation and the feeling everything is ok. 

So, when I started asking myself what were the benefits so far, if any, I found to my surprise, that there were quite a few:

I felt lighter because of the simple – and, in my opinion, tasteless – food. 

I was getting clearer in my head by the day.

I was again taking every step and making each movement with conscious attention, just as I had done for so many years after meeting Sathya Sai Baba in 1991 and before mobile phones made an appearance in my life.

It was not until that moment that I consciously noticed how I had grown in ‘being a witness in difficult circumstances’ over the last six dramatic years – during which my life had been turned quite upside down by moving house, by a completely new business venture, two accidents with chronic, physical consequences, two parents with dementia and their transition to the other world, the parting of my parental home and more. I started to consciously feel gratitude again. A Mai-Tri session during the retreat allowed me to sit without back pain. More gratitude.

On the morning of the third day, a shift seemed to happen. Both in me and in the group energy. I woke up with an inner message from Mohanji, asking me: ‘Absolute calmness, what is your trigger to come out of that calmness?’ I replied automatically, as if from a higher knowing: ‘Misunderstanding.’ I parked the message in some part of my brain and proceeded to the event hall. 

Two days of group Mai-Tri had cleansed a lot of clutter from the entire group’s energy, and the air felt lighter. Mohanji watched us with happiness, mentioning both the cleansing and the determination of the whole group, young and old. I am highly sensitive to group energy, so, together with the group energy, my own energy got elevated. And the high energy frequency that emanated from Mohanji stayed with me until lunchtime. 

Soon after lunch, the restlessness came back, but this time I watched the rising thoughts with more interest to find out their origin. I discovered that more than ninety per cent of the disturbing thoughts that kept me away from calmness were about misunderstanding indeed! That was a revelation. It was all about mentally trying to make people understand my good intentions and trying to avoid their anger and irritation. And the more I tried, the more misunderstandings showed up in daily life, making me feel insecure, lonely, unloved, useless, etc. And why did I do this? 

Because deep down, I was still afraid that misunderstanding would cause a whole village to stand up against me and throw me from a cliff. The anger on their faces never left me, and the incredible pain of knowing that these were my loved ones whom I had tried to make happy and healthy but now seemed to hate me so much. This was a previous life memory, of course. And every time I see anger in anybody’s eyes, the cells in my body fear I will be murdered. The good news of this revelation is that when this one memory will be desensitised one day – and I firmly believe help will come my way – ninety-five per cent of my restlessness will be gone! 

Part 2 to be continued …..

|| JAI BRAHMARISHI MOHANJI ||

Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 21st January 2023

Disclaimer:

The views, opinions, and positions expressed by the authors and those providing comments on these blogs are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions or positions of Mohanji, Mohanji Foundation, it’s members, employees or any other individual or entity associated with Mohanji or Mohanji Foundation. We make no representations as to accuracy, completeness, timeliness, suitability or validity of any information presented by individual authors and/or commenters on our blogs and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries or damages arising from its display or use.

We reserve the right to delete, edit, or alter in any manner we see fit blog entries or comments that we, in our sole discretion, deem to be obscene, offensive, defamatory, threatening, in violation of trademark, copyright or other laws, of an express commercial nature, or otherwise unacceptable.

Mohanji Testimonials team