It feels like I am back home

By Ruchika Gandhi

The Kumbh is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, hence it is not sheer coincidence if a person gets to be at the Sangam, during two consecutive months with our beloved Parabrahma. This is exactly what happened to Ruchika Gandhi and she shares her beautiful experience of being with Mohanji a second time in February at the Kumbh 2019! Mohanji  knows the innermost desire of each of His devotees and in His casual way, fulfilled Ruchika’s desire, and also cleared a lot of karmas through His blessings.  

With His beautiful eyes bright and twinkling; Mohanji said, “Come again for the dip if you can.” Hearing these words, my soul firmly decided to make it to the Kumbh again….. Mohanji meant it  seriously, but with all humility, He said, “I am only suggesting.” Upon hearing this suggestion, I wondered how to ask for holidays again at work. Somewhere that guilt factor was playing around in my mind.

After coming back from the Khumb in January 2019, I prepared myself mentally and surrendered at Mohanji’s lotus feet to bless me with the courage to speak about taking leave again. With His grace, one fine day, the decision was made and I finally dropped a message to my boss saying that I needed two days off in February. He responded, “OK, go ahead, but take care of important tasks before leaving.” I took a deep breath…… and was very happy and peaceful that my holiday was approved.

With each passing day, I was eagerly waiting to  take part in the holy pilgrimage once again. Days went on and finally the day arrived for me to leave.  I was scheduled to leave on Feb 8th, but due to an unexpected event, I had to travel for a sudden official trip on Feb 7th.  My flight from Dehradun to Delhi was delayed by 3hrs and I reached home at 1:00am. However, despite the fatigue, I packed my luggage for the Kumbh, as soon as I arrived.

The next morning, I was charged with fresh energy with no sign of fatigue. Only gratitude and love poured out for my beloved Mohanji.  With no expectations and a feeling of emptiness,  I was blank, such was the power and blessing of Kumbh’s calling.

After bathing, I went to the terrace to do Surya pranaams (Sun Salutations). I thanked the Lord for giving me this beautiful opportunity and decided to feed the birds as well. I filled up a bowl with bajra (pearl millet) and water for the birds and bowed and thanked them too. Just as I started to pray, a jet-black crow which I had never seen before arrived and made some noise.  Deep inside, I knew it was a blessing to feed a crow. However, I didn’t know the significance. A few pigeons and parrots also visited that day to enjoy the morning meal.

As I was getting ready, my sister messaged me to get some bread and cheese if possible.  I thought, “OK.” Later, as I went down to catch the cab, I also took some bread and milk to leave in a bowl which I kept outside my apartment to feed the animals.  As I was getting the food ready, I was also chanting the Mai-Tri Healing mantra.  Just then, some dogs arrived to enjoy their meal.  It was a divine moment filled with love, grace and blessings.  What a way to start my Kumbh pilgrimage.

On the way to the airport, I withdrew some money from the ATM.  It only released big notes of 2000 rupees.  I asked the driver to make a quick stop at a store, but wondered who will give me bread and cheese with these big notes.  Once inside the store, I got the supplies and told the shop keeper that I will require some change.  At first he refused, but when I gave him an apologetic smile, he paused for a while and said, “You take it.” This was only possible due to His grace.  Pilgrims are never refused anything and the whole cosmos comes together to take you on the  pilgrimage.

An interesting event occurred when I arrived at the self-check-in at the airport.  I saw a YSS (Yagoda Satsanga Society) monk standing at the next counter. I felt it was all my beloved Guru’s leela (play) and He was there to bless me in disguise. With the sequence of events that took place from early morning till the arrival at the airport, I could feel Mohanji’s love and grace pouring in. It filled me with so much love and gratitude.


Once I reached Varanasi, I called for a cab driver and started my journey to Allahabad. I never felt any fear of being alone in my journey, as Mohanji was by my side throughout. During the car ride, I had only one thought in my mind.  I wanted to buy some jaggery from Varanasi and have it blessed by Mohanji to later serve it during seva on His birthday.  With this sole thought in my mind, I requested the driver to make a quick stop. He wasn’t sure whether we will find it, but he was co-operative enough to make multiple stops on the way.  Finally, after some time, we were able to locate a shop which provided me  with jaggery.  It was so perfect!

The congestion of the city was visible, but the driver drove peacefully all the way.  Hours passed quickly and finally I was dropped off at the Parmarth camp. I didn’t expect the day to flow so smoothly, but Mohanji made it all very comforting. As I was getting off the cab, someone reached out to me and asked for a blanket. I didn’t know how to respond as I had no blanket.  I avoid giving money, so I moved into the ashram, but the feeling of not doing something for that person was etched in my mind.

Once inside, I felt like I was back home  in familiar settings, the aura and the feel of the holy land was just amazing and heart-warming. I also got to meet other participants one by one with great smiles on their faces and got lovely hugs as well.

There was a satsang scheduled for the same evening. The hall was all set and Mohanji arrived. I got myself settled in the front of the group. I didn’t get a chance to meet or hug Mohanji, but His empowering words were deep as always. Our soul’s strong urge for liberation had brought us all together at the Kumbh.  Each word was entering gradually into my system. A dip was planned on the auspicious day of Vasant Panchami (arrival of spring). I felt so fortunate that I was at the holy land of the Kumbh again in the presence of our beloved Mohanji, as well as with the other powerful beings who come in disguise to bless us on the path of liberation.  These beings are beyond the recognition of human eyes and their contribution to the planet in liberating millions/trillions of souls is unmatchable.  My heart was overwhelmed with gratitude and love. Tears flooded my eyes and I felt so blessed to be present during this event…I hardly slept that night.  Thoughts of being blessed overwhelmed me.

There was one problem that bothered me a bit.  I knew my menses was going to start soon as it was also the case in January and I missed my dip.  I didn’t want it to happen again, so I prayed with all humility to make this dip possible.  The next day, I was busy with the Gurulight team with packing stuff for the participants.  Each moment was fun-filled and charged with positivity, but my body was giving me signals of the approaching menses.  Once again, I surrendered with total faith at Mohanji’s feet and my beloved divine Mother. Later in the day, I went outside the ashram to do some food seva and came back to take a nap.  The POP session and chanting in the evening was very powerful as it took me to a different space for 40 minutes.  During the energy transfer, I felt different lights in my Ajna (third eye) chakra.

Finally, the big day arrived…

I only slept for an hour in the morning and woke up early to do chants, meditation and pranaams to Lord Surya, thanking him for giving me another opportunity to witness this beautiful and holy Sangam once again.

kumbh devotees

With Kumbh T-shirts, all the M family members got ready for the dip.  Most of the members went ahead, but my sister, Preeti Gopalarathnam di (sister) and I waited to seek Mohanji’s blessings before proceeding.  Miraculously, my sister and I got to sit in Mohanji’s boat.  When we are empty inside, grace flows unconditionally.

I told Mohanji about the crow that I saw on the roof when I began my journey. With clarity and promptness, He said, “That was your father and he came to bless you.” I fell silent at that moment and felt deep gratitude for my dad for being there.  Once again, my eyes welled up and tears flowed automatically.

The whole event was coordinated and thoughtfully planned.  Madhu’s strategy to assemble all 8 boats at one place in the middle of the river and proceeding together was an amazing idea.  Managing 80 people with a small Gurulight team and volunteers is quite a demanding task, but with Mohanji’s grace and guidance all went through smoothly.

As we assembled near the Sangam (confluence of three rivers), Mohanji proceeded first to take His dips, then all the devotees followed. That moment was intense, as Mohanji prayed deeply and took flat dips in the Sangam thrice. Then the abhishekam (pouring water) happened.  Mohanji poured sacred water on each one of us thrice, in some cases more than three times. This held a deep significance and I was fully present in the moment, soaking in the divine energy. When my turn was over, I moved ahead to take dips for myself, my family, my ancestors, and gurus.

Mohanji Abhisekh

Later, we all assembled together again and made a circle with Mohanji  in the middle, and we chanted the Mohanji Gayatri with deep devotion and reverence.  With the  group chanting, the whole energy and aura felt like we were in the divine, sacred womb of the three rivers (Ganga, Yamuna and Saraswati). Ah… it was a sight to behold…and to dissolve in. I felt light, happy and melted in that divine moment. It was all unfathomable and only made possible with Mohanji’s love and grace.

After the dips, we all settled into our boats. On the way back, Mohanji asked my sister Sonia, “Why are you not singing?” Upon hearing Him, she began to sing and I joined her too, but my throat choked and I could not hold my tears anymore.  They flowed in a complete state of gratitude for my beloved guru Mohanji, all other gurus and most importantly, my dad who had passed away in 2017.

The next day, I had to leave for Varanasi to catch my flight and was advised by Mamu ji to leave 6 hours early to avoid any traffic situations. Patiently, he arranged for a cab on the 10th of Feb, when there was nothing available with the agents, as everything was booked.

I changed, packed my luggage and tried to meet some of the devotees. All looked bright, fresh and joyful. Sacred Sangam Magic was visible in everyone’s eyes. I even got to spend some moments with Mohanji. Like a father, He asked, “Did you eat anything?” When I said no, He promptly gave me papaya and then He offered me some pomegranate. He was feeding me with so much love while I talked and pressed His feet. I didn’t feel like leaving at  that moment, but He said, “I know how you feel, but you go now.” I felt as if I was already home, where I had wanted to be for ages.  It was a very difficult moment and I have no words to describe the feeling except that my heart was filled with gratitude, love and complete oneness.

During the departure from the ashram, Mamu ji was there to see me off and to make sure that I caught the cab, as it was parked quite faraway. I walked and walked with my luggage up to 3kms or more.  With the Mohanji Gayatri chant running in my mind, the walk became effortless. Finally, I reached the point where the cab was parked. I boarded and felt complete silence throughout the journey, absorbing and reflecting on all the beautiful moments internally.

On the way to the airport, I wanted to have a cup of tea and thought if I get a chance – I would like to feed a dog to make this journey complete. As we stopped for chai (tea), from nowhere, a black dog arrived suddenly. I immediately got a cup of milk from the shopkeeper and fed the dog.  He came and went away immediately after having the milk. My heart was filled with immense gratitude once again for such beauty in that moment… It was all a divine play.

Deep love and gratitude to all!!

Read here about Ruchika’s first trip to the Kumbh! 




Compiled, Edited & Published by – Testimonials Team, 27th March 2019


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1 thought on “It feels like I am back home”

  1. Wow. What an experience. I am in tears just reading it. Can imagine how you would have felt. All blessed Souls who got a chance to be with Para Brahma at Kumbh🙏🙏
    Thanks for sharing.😊

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